American fiction -- 20th century; Bohemianism -- Fiction
That conversing silence, in which a suggestion is so strongly felt that
it need not be heard, was released from both of them and remained until
they reached the apartment building in which she lived, and stood in
the dark hallway.
“I don’t want to leave you now”--her whisper was frightened but
stubbornly tender. “I don’t want to. For all I know I may never see
you again and if I don’t I’ve got to have somethin’ that I can hold
on to. Somethin’ that’s not as foolish as just talkin’ words.... I’m
a dreadful girl, I s’pose. I must be very wicked. I must be.... But I
don’t care. Please don’t go away.”
They stood in the hallway like two dizzy, burdened children feeling
the advancing shadow of an irresistible action and yet waiting for the
exact moment when all deliberate words would vanish. Until their minds
were quite free of words their limbs could not move. Suddenly they
both mounted the stairway, hand in hand, as though a kindly demon had
decided to make playthings of their legs.
When Carl left the apartment building early on the following morning
and hurried to the suburban cigar-store where he now worked half of
the day as a clerk, his old self-disgust was absent and a cleanly wild
lightness took his limbs, as if he had slept upon the plain sturdiness
of a hillside and was pacing away with the borrowed vigor.
“The only time that I dislike earth is when it is dressed in urgent
mud, adulterated perfumes, strained lies, and repentant fears,” he
told himself as he walked through the bustling shallowness of each city
street.
Before leaving Lucy he had promised to return on the following night,
and when she had wept and begged him “not to think that she was a
terribly bad girl,” he had laughed softly and dropped his lips upon her
tears.
“You have been yourself, Luce, and since the world is always conspiring
against such an arbitrary occurrence, you can give yourself a
bewildered congratulation,” he told her, gayly.
Without understanding his words she had felt the presence of defiant
sounds which had cheered her. During the next two weeks, as he remained
with her each night, he reflected upon the possible melodrama that
lurked just outside of his visits.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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