Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 63, No. 388, February 1848Various
History
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 63, No. 388, February 1848
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
struggled steadfastly against the impulse to adore her; its indulgence I
felt would be madness, and could result but in misery. What folly for
the penniless soldier, even though time and her father’s protection
should convert him into an equally penniless officer, to raise his eyes
to the rich, the beautiful, the brilliant daughter of the Count de
Bellechasse! Rejection, ridicule, contempt could be the sole recompense
of such presumption. M. de Bellechasse, although an officer of
Napoleon’s, is of old French nobility; his wealth is very great; and if
he still continues to serve, it is solely from enthusiastic love of his
profession. His daughter is a match for the first in the land. All these
and many more such arguments did I again and again repeat to myself; but
when had reason a chance against love? Repeatedly did I vow to forget
the fair vision that had crossed, my path and troubled my repose, or to
think of her only as the phantom of a dream, unsubstantial and
unattainable. But the resolution was scarcely formed, when I found
myself dwelling in rapture on her perfections, recapitulating the few
gentle words she had addressed to me, recalling her voice, her look, her
gesture—everything about her, even to the most minute details. One
moment, in view of the precipice on whose brink I stood, I swore to shun
her perilous presence, and to avert my eyes should I again find myself
in it: not an hour afterwards I eagerly seized a pretext that led me to
her father’s house, and afforded me the possibility of another glimpse
of my idol. Such glimpses were not difficult to obtain. The colonel’s
partiality to me daily increased, and when I went to him on regimental
matters, and he was alone with his wife and daughter, he would receive
me in the drawing room in their presence, and waiving, for the time, the
difference of grade, would converse with me as affably as with an equal,
and make me repeat, for the amusement of the ladies, some of our African
skirmishes and adventures. Doubtless I should have avoided these
dangerous interviews, but how was it to be done without an appearance of
ingratitude and discourtesy? Truth to tell, I taxed my invention but
little for means of escaping them. I continued to see Bertha, and at
each interview my passion gathered strength. She listened with marked
attention to my anecdotes of our campaigns. These I always addressed to
her father or mother; but without looking at her, I could feel her eyes
fixed upon me with an expression of interest, and, I at last ventured to
think, of a more tender feeling. About this time the colonel frequently
kept me for hours together at his house, arranging regimental papers and
accounts, in a room upon the ground floor, set apart for the purpose.
Within this room is another, used as a library, and thus it happened
that one day, when immersed in states and muster rolls, I beheld the
door open, and the fairy form of Bertha upon the threshold. She appeared
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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