"The African told him very coolly that the dey, having left his dominions rather in a hurry, had forgotten to bring an executioner with him, and had consequently ordered his cook to get a large knife and cut off the head of Osmin, chief of the eunuchs, who was convicted of having kept such negligent watch and ward over his highness's seraglio, that some presumptuous Giaour had made a hole in the wall, and established a communication with Zaida, the dey's favourite _odalisque_. Accordingly Osmin was to be decapitated; and as to the offending lady, the next time the dey took an airing in the bay of Naples, she would be put into the boat in a sack, and consigned to the keeping of the kelpies. Thunderstruck at such summary proceedings, the cook desired his Nubian brother to wait while he went for a larger knife; then hastening to M. Martin Zill, he told him what he had just heard. "M. Martin Zill ran to the minister of police, and laid the matter before him. His excellency got into his carriage and went to call upon the dey. He found his highness reclining upon a divan, his back supported by cushions, smoking latakia in a chibouque, while an icoglan scratched the soles of his feet, and two slaves fanned him. The minister made his three salaams; the dey nodded his head. "'Your highness,' said his excellency, 'I am the minister of police.' "'I know you are,' answered the dey. "'Then your highness probably conjectures the motive of my visit.' "'No. But you are welcome all the same.' "'I come to prevent your highness from committing a crime.' "'A crime! And what crime?' said the dey, taking the pipe from his mouth, and gazing at his interlocutor in the most profound astonishment. "'I wonder your highness should ask the question,' replied the minister. 'Is it not your intention to cut off Osmin's head?' "'That is no crime,' answered the dey. "'Does not your highness purpose throwing Zaida into the sea?' "'That is no crime,' repeated the dey. 'I bought Osmin for five hundred piasters, and Zaida for a thousand sequins, just as I bought this pipe for a hundred ducats.' "'Well,' said the minister, 'what does your highness deduce from that?' "'That as this pipe belongs to me, as I have bought it and paid for it, I may break it to atoms if I choose, and nobody has a right to object.' So saying, the pacha broke his pipe, and threw the fragments into the middle of the room. "'All very well, as far as a pipe goes,' said the minister; 'but Osmin, but Zaida?' "'Less than a pipe,' said the dey gravely. "'How! less than a pipe! A man less than a pipe! A woman less than a pipe!' "'Osmin is not a man, and Zaida is not a woman: they are slaves. I will cut off Osmin's head, and throw Zaida into the sea.' "'No!' said the magistrate. 'Not at Naples at least.' "'Dog of a Christian!' shouted the dey, 'do you know who I am?'