The translation of the Eugubian tablets, however, is but a part of the huge mass of absurdity piled up on these two little syllables, _Ae-sar_. There is a second volume, in which all the topographical extravagances of Scrieck are played over again, _praeconis ad fastidium_, with this difference, however, that where Scrieck, in his interpretations, gave genuine Dutch, Betham, in his, gives spurious Irish; for he owns himself, that "if a sentence be formed of these obsolete monosyllabic words, the translation in English making good sense, the original, if read to the best Irish scholar of the day, will appear to him an unknown tongue." He begins first with Sanconiathan, which he makes the name of the book, not of the author, _sean cead na than_; i. e. "the old beginning of time," when the gods spoke in monosyllabic Irish, and called chaos _cead-os_, "the first intelligence." And here it must be admitted that the Dutchmen are outdone: for neither Becan nor Scrieck went above Adam. But Betham is as much at home on Olympus as either of the Dutchmen was in Paradise; and with the aid of his monosyllabic glossary, transmutes the celestials into Teagues and Oonahs as fast as his sybilline syllables can be put together. Apollo is _ab ol lo_, "the mighty lord of the waters;" (this is hardly as good as the _off-hole-loose_ of Goropius:) Minerva is _Ma na er ar fad_, (a terribly long recipe for a name this,) or "the good, the illustrious guiding wisdom." Hermes is _tur-mees_, "the messenger of the wind." Hercules is _er cu lais_, "the illustrious hero of light;" but he seems to be sadly at sea for a derivation for Neptune, whom he is obliged to turn into a Tyrrhenian catamaran or Irish currow, _Naebh tonn_ "the ship of the sea." Jupiter (not being an Etruscan, he is not here allowed the _pas_) _iudh bit er_, "day being great," (which is a very dark saying.) Bacchus, _bac aois_, "the sustainer of time." Mercury, _meer cu re_, "the swift champion of the moon"--really this is mere lunacy. Any one might, with equal plausibility, derive the whole Pantheon from the English, as Apollo, "aye follow," because day always follows night, and Apollo always followed pretty girls, Daphne in particular; Mercury, "mirk hurry," because Mercury hurried the ghosts down through the mirk or murky darkness to the Styx. Hercules, "he reckless," because Hercules was a great daredevil. Venus, "vain is," because a pretty woman is too often vain of her good looks. Juno, "do now," because people were in the habit of making their requests to her, or, perhaps, because Jupiter used to say so when he wished her to give him a kiss. Jupiter, "stupider," because it was natural that Juno should say he was the stupider of the two when they happened to differ; or, _pace viri tanti_, "you pitier," when poor mortals raised their sorrowful supplications to him.