VIVIAN.--_Distinction!_ You do not see the difference between
us. You have but a fortune to make, I have a name to redeem; you look
calmly on the future, I have a dark blot to erase from the past.
PISISTRATUS, (_soothingly_.)--It is erased. Five years of no
weak bewailings, but of manly reform, steadfast industry, conduct so
blameless, that even Guy (whom I look upon as the incarnation of blunt
English honesty) half doubts whether you are '_cute_ enough for "a
station"--a character already so high, that I long for the hour when
you will again take your father's spotless name, and give me the pride
to own our kinship to the world; all this surely redeems the errors
arising from an uneducated childhood and a wandering youth.
VIVIAN, (_leaning over his horse, and putting his hand on my
shoulder_.)--"My dear friend, what do I owe you?" Then recovering his
emotion, and pushing on at a quicker pace, while he continues to speak,
"But can you not see that, just in proportion as my comprehension of
right would become clear and strong, so my conscience would become also
more sensitive and reproachful; and the better I understand my gallant
father, the more I must desire to be as he would have had his son. Do
you think it would content him, could he see me branding cattle and
bargaining with bullock-drivers? Was it not the strongest wish of his
heart that I should adopt his own career? Have I not heard you say
that he would have had you too a soldier, but for your mother? I have
no mother! If I made thousands, and tens of thousands, by this ignoble
calling, would they give my father half the pleasure that he would
feel at seeing my name honourably mentioned in a despatch? No, no! you
have banished the gipsy blood, and now the soldier's breaks out! Oh
for one glorious day in which I may clear my way into fair repute, as
our fathers before us!--when tears of proud joy may flow from those
eyes that have wept such hot drops at my shame! When _she_, too, in
her high station, beside that sleek lord, may say, 'His heart was not
so vile, after all!' Don't argue with me--it is in vain! Pray, rather,
that I may have leave to work out my own way; for I tell you that, if
condemned to stay here, I may not murmur aloud--I may go through this
round of low duties as the brute turns the wheel of a mill: but my
heart will prey on itself, and you shall soon write on my gravestone
the epitaph of the poor poet you told us of, whose true disease was the
thirst of glory--'Here lies one whose name was written in water.'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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