Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 69, No. 424, February 1851Various
History
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Volume 69, No. 424, February 1851
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
to be consumed by the graceless mouths that fed upon him, the milk of
human kindness--with which Providence has so bountifully supplied that
class of the mammalia called the "Bucolic," and of which our Squire had
an extra "yield"--burst forth, and washed away all the indignation of
the harsher Adam.
Still your policy of half-measures, which irritates without crushing
its victims, which flaps an exasperated wasp-nest with a silk
pocket-handkerchief, instead of blowing it up with a match and train,
is rarely successful; and, after three or four other and much guiltier
victims than Lenny had been incarcerated in the Stocks, the parish of
Hazeldean was ripe for any enormity. Pestilent jacobinical tracts,
conceived and composed in the sinks of manufacturing towns--found their
way into the popular beer-house--heaven knows how, though the Tinker
was suspected of being the disseminator by all but Stirn, who still, in
a whisper, accused the Papishers. And, finally, there appeared amongst
the other graphic embellishments which the poor Stocks had received,
the rude _gravure_ of a gentleman in a broad-brimmed hat and top-boots,
suspended from a gibbet, with the inscription beneath--"A warnin to
hall tirans--mind your hi!--sighnde Captin sTraw."
It was upon this significant and emblematic portraiture that the Squire
was gazing when the Parson joined him.
"Well, Parson," said Mr Hazeldean with a smile which he meant to be
pleasant and easy, but which was exceedingly bitter and grim, "I wish
you joy of your flock--you see they have just hanged me in effigy!"
The Parson stared, and, though greatly shocked, smothered his emotions;
and attempted, with the wisdom of the serpent and the mildness of the
dove, to find another original for the effigy.
"It is very bad," quoth he, "but not so bad as all that, Squire; that's
not the shape of your hat. It is evidently meant for Mr Stirn."
"Do you think so!" said the Squire softened. "Yet the top-boots--Stirn
never wears top-boots."
"No more do you--except in hunting. If you look again, those are not
tops--they are leggings--Stirn wears leggings. Besides, that flourish,
which is meant for a nose, is a kind of a hook like Stirn's; whereas
your nose--though by no means a snub--rather turns up than not, as the
Apollo's does, according to the plaster cast in Riccabocca's parlour."
"Poor Stirn!" said the Squire, in a tone that evinced complacency,
not unmingled with compassion, "that's what a man gets in this world
by being a faithful servant, and doing his duty with zeal for his
employer. But you see that things have come to a strange pass, and the
question now is, what course to pursue. The miscreants hitherto have
defied all vigilance, and Stirn recommends the employment of a regular
night-watch with a lanthorn and bludgeon."
"That may protect the Stocks certainly; but will it keep those
detestable tracts out of the beer-house?"
"We shall shut the beer-house up at the next sessions."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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