No long time elapses before our friend Lavengro encounters his
predestined squire. In the interim, however, he visits Stonehenge,
and encounters a returned convict, who of course is the son of the
applewoman. Shortly afterwards Amphytrion appears, just as Lavengro is
sitting down to a buttock of beef and accompaniments in a cheerful inn.
The character has been so often drawn, that it is rather difficult to
chalk out a new branch of eccentricity for the gentleman who is about
to convey the author to his house, in order that he may confide to
him the details of his personal history: we are bound, however, to
confess that Mr Borrow has managed this very cleverly. The new comer
is afflicted with the mania of "touching"--not for any pleasurable
sensation conveyed to the sensorium through the medium of the tips of
the fingers, but for luck, or as a charm against the influence of the
evil eye! For example, his mother being extremely ill, he finds himself
irresistibly impelled to climb a large elm-tree and touch the topmost
branch, as the means of averting the crisis. He does so, and sustains
a severe fall, to the detriment of his nether-man, but is rewarded
by finding that his filial piety has saved his mother, for the fever
departed the moment that he clutched the gifted twig! Genius has no
limits. After this it is not impossible that a gooseberry bush may be
found available machinery for adding to the interest of a tale.
The story is told at the Squire's house during a thunder-storm; and
another character, a certain Rev. Mr Platitude, is introduced solely,
we presume, to lay a foundation for the subsequent appearance of
a Roman Jesuit, to whom the said Platitude is in bondage. Having
delivered himself of his touching history, the Squire, like Coleridge's
Ancient Mariner, feels himself considerably easier in his mind, and
Lavengro takes his leave. Led by his dukkeripen, he next falls in
with a disconsolate tinker, Jack Slingsby by name, whom he finds with
his wife and children sitting over an empty mug, "which, when filled,
might contain half-a-pint." Lavengro is perfectly orthodox on the
subject of malt liquor. He understands, appreciates, and even venerates
its virtues; so, like a kind Christian, he orders a double jorum,
and requests the woe-begone Jack to insinuate his whiskers therein.
Slingsby complies, nothing loath; for grief is notoriously dry: and
we are presently informed that he is sore at heart, in consequence
of having been beaten off his bent by a rival, ycleped the Flaming
Tinman, who travels the country, accompanied by his wife, Grey Moll,
and a young woman of more than amazonian proportions. This Ajax having
conceived an intense hatred of the pacific Slingsby, has first given
him an unmerciful hiding; and, secondly, compelled him to take his
Bible-oath that he will immediately vacate the country. Cause enough
of sorrow, to be sure, the district being rife in frying-pans, and the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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