Blade-O'-Grass. Golden Grain. and Bread and Cheese and Kisses.Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
Blade-O'-Grass. Golden Grain. and Bread and Cheese and Kisses.
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
Christmas stories; Fiction
'I said to myself, Saul knows what is right; when he is in a position
he will say to me, Come, Jane; and I pictured to myself our going to
some quiet church one morning, without any one knowing it but
ourselves, and coming back married. But it was not to be; the part you
took in the strike crushed you and kept you down. The masters were
against you naturally; and I knew that as my friends had fallen off
from me, so your friends and fellow workmen had fallen off from you. I
blamed myself for it, for it was my counsel that caused you to desert
the men as you had deserted the masters. I did not see the
consequences when I spoke; I should have held my tongue.'
'Jane,' said Saul gloomily, 'you were right; I had my doubts that very
night, after I had made the speech that inflamed me in the making as
much as it inflamed the men in the hearing. I lost my head; no wonder
they turned against me afterwards. I should have done the same by
them. But in acting as I did, I acted conscientiously. What, then, did
I do, when I began to feel the consequences of my own act? Sought for
consolation in drink, and but for your steady, unwavering faith--but
for your patient endurance, and your untiring efforts to bring me back
to reason--might have found a lower depth even than that. But patient
love prevailed. Death will overtake me, or I will overtake it, when I
break the promise I gave you not long ago!'
'I know it,' she said, with a bright look which he could not see, her
back being towards the light, 'and that is why I can trust you now;
that is why I have courage to say what I am about to say. There is no
fear between us of misapprehension of each other's words, of each
other's acts; and therefore I do not hesitate. Saul, if I have done
my duty by you--and I have striven to do it, with all my heart and
soul--it remains for you to do your duty by me.'
He had no word to say in reply; that he had failed in his duty to her,
that upon her had fallen the greater part of the misery, and all the
shame, of their lot, he was fully conscious. But he had never heard
her speak like this before; her voice was firm, though tender, and he
held his breath, waiting for her next words.
'It remains for you to do your duty by me.' As she repeated these
words it required the strongest effort of her will to keep the beating
of her heart and her inward suffering from affecting her voice. She
was successful in her effort; for knowing what would occur within the
next few hours, the imminence of the coming crisis gave her strength,
and her voice was clear and steady.
'How--in what way?' he asked, in an agitated tone.
'Be sure of one thing, Saul,' she cried, turned aside for an instant
only by the agitation in his voice; 'be sure that I love you, wholly,
heartfully!'
'I _am_ sure of it. Teach me my duty. I will do it.'
She steadied herself again.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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