Blade-O'-Grass. Golden Grain. and Bread and Cheese and Kisses.Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
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Blade-O'-Grass. Golden Grain. and Bread and Cheese and Kisses.
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
Christmas stories; Fiction
'Saul, we cannot go on as we are. We have come low--very low; but
worse is before us, if we are content to let it come, without an
effort to avoid it. Listen. The greatest happiness that can fall to my
lot is to be your wife.'
'I believe it,' he said.
'But not as you are, Saul! Tear yourself from your present
surroundings--tear yourself from this place, where there is no hope
for you nor for me! If we were at opposite ends of the world, there is
a tie that binds us which neither of us can ever forget. If she were
in her grave, her lips would seek my breast, her little hands would
stretch themselves out to you, to caress your face! What kind of
happiness would it be for you to be able to say, Come, Jane; I have a
home for you, for her?'
He repeated, with his lips, 'What kind of happiness!' but uttered no
sound.
'Make the effort!--away from here. If you succeed--never mind how
humble it is, never mind how poor--I will be your wife, loving you no
more than I love you now, and you will repay me for all that I have
suffered. If you fail---- But you will not fail, Saul. I know it! I
feel it! Make the effort; for the sake of my love for you, for the
sake of yours for me. I think, if it were placed before me that you
should make the effort, and, failing, die, or that we should remain as
we are, I should choose to lose you, and never look upon your face
again---- Here! We are near the end of this sad year. Christmas is
coming, Saul. Let it be the turning over of a new leaf for us. Nerve
yourself--I will not say for your own sake, for I know how poor an
incentive that would be to you--but for mine, and with the dawning of
a new year, begin a new life!'
'And this is the duty that remains for me to do, Jane?'
'This is the duty.'
Not from any doubt of her, or of the task she set before him, did he
pause, but because he was for a while overpowered by the goodness of
the woman who had sacrificed all for him--who loved him, believed in
him, and saw still some capacity for good in him. When he had
conquered his emotion, he said in a broken tone,
'And then, should such a happy time ever come, you will let me make
the poor reparation--you will marry me?'
'How gladly!' she exclaimed, 'O, how gladly!'
'No more words are needed than that I promise, Jane?'
'No more, Saul.'
'I promise. With all my strength I will try.'
He knelt before her, and, with his head in her lap, shed tears there,
and prayed for strength, prayed with trustfulness, though the road was
dark before him. Lifting his head, he saw the light of the clear cold
sky shining through the window at her back. With her arms clasped
round his neck, she leant forward and kissed him, and as he folded her
in his embrace, he felt that there were tears also on her face.
'The world would be dark without you, dear woman,' he said.
Again she kissed him, and asked if it was not time for him to go.
He answered. Yes; and yet was loth to go.
'Good-night, Jane.'
'Good-night, dear Saul.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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