Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Middle West -- Fiction
He came home sometimes with bundles of papers filled with figures and
sat in the little study at night, writing what he called “plans” and
“copy” and making “market analyses.” It was the same sort of jargon
that Barcroft talked incessantly--“sales and distribution,” “consumer
demand,” and “dealer helps.” It had sounded all right from Barcroft;
but from Miles.... She found among his papers rough drafts in his own
hand of advertisements extolling the value of hog foods, lice powder,
piston rings--and one long story about “How I raised my salary from
fifty to two hundred dollars a week in six months.” When she read these
she went into her room and cried. They had meant nothing to her so long
as he took them lightly; now that he applied his whole mind to them and
sat absently dreaming of them, they seemed blasphemous. But she dared
not complain; she had no remedy to offer.
In a little while--after the baby was a few months old--he began to
bring home news of certain results from all this energy and absorption.
His salary took a sudden jump. He was “meeting clients” continually,
doing executive work. Soon, he told her, he would have a small office
to himself. She simulated pleasure at these announcements, but she
felt none. Every triumph of that sort meant a surrender of himself.
She even resented the care he had begun to take in his clothes and his
hair-cuts, the change in his style of dress.
The ugliness of the little apartment in a building which held perhaps
fifty tiresome families, the dreary parade of bourgeois virtues, and
fourth or fifth rate finery, the strident female voices in the street
and halls, the newness of everything one touched and looked at, the
lack of shadows and mystery and ease, the pervasive, obvious travail
for money--all these things were to Moira an education in American
life which her youth had escaped. She disliked them, but she regarded
them, because they were strange to her, with a detached, half-amused
curiosity.
To Miles, however, they were a return to the hated past--from just such
a street in Cincinnati he had fled in horror years before. She saw
that it really involved him; that daily, as it were, he had to brush
its overwhelming effect from his clothes and from his mind. It was
she who was putting him through all this.... And it was only an added
irony that Miles, junior, turned out such a satisfactory child, normal
and vigorous and good-tempered. It did not improve matters any that he
deserved this sacrifice, for with every new fascination he exerted,
every delightful characteristic he exhibited, the subjection of all
their hopes to his demands became more complete....
* * * * *
Three years passed this way, and though the affairs of the Harlindew
family went on quite as ever in outward appearance, much had happened
underneath to both.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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