Illegitimate children -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Middle West -- Fiction
In the first place she had learned that a child was not a temporary
encumbrance, one that she could throw off in a year or two for outside
work. If certain of its wants diminished with its growth, others
increased, and the habit of being an attendant mother became fixed. She
had had to abandon her plan of returning to offices. Cheap servant
girls and the risk run in trusting them worried her too much as it was.
She became as helpless a house-person as the scores of other young
mothers in her teeming block.
With the relinquishment of this notion came the gradual realization
that they might never be able to take up again that shoulder to
shoulder independence which had seemed so fine while it lasted. Miles
from now on was the provider--she and her child the dependents. She
discovered that he had seen this more clearly than she from the
beginning.
He ceased to take an interest in himself at all. His mind settled into
a hopeless groove of dogged, disinterested work. To see him pick up
a book and lay it aside was a gesture that came to hold a veritable
sense of tragedy for her. To watch the effect of a fine play upon him
was pathetic. While its beauty filled him with happiness, he dared
not allow himself to be lifted too far into that rarified atmosphere.
He ventured no opinions about any of the hundreds of stimulating
personalities who were coming up on the horizon of culture everywhere.
Poetry he spoke of with whimsical condescension, even with contempt. It
seemed to him an impudent excrescence, a meaningless dream that had no
right to existence in a life of reality.
All this came more swiftly than she knew, occupied as she was with the
absorbing bit of life under her care. In three years she thought she
scarcely knew Miles. The poems he had shown her that night before the
baby’s coming were often in her hands, though she dared not mention
them to him. They were as fine as they had been then. Could this
plodding man--who loved her still with a desperate, clinging love, a
love, as it seemed, that was the breath of his life--be the same man
who had written them? And was it possible that he must stop that divine
occupation for no other reason than that three people had to live? The
future seems short when life is meaningless and tiresome, and we become
seized with a fierce impatience. Moira fought against a feeling that
they were old and life was declining to its end....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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