Europe -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; New Zealand -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, New Zealand
It was warm in the kitchen. A blow-fly buzzed, a fan of whity steam
came out of the kettle, and the lid kept up a rattling jig as the water
bubbled. The clock ticked in the warm air, slow and deliberate, like
the click of an old woman’s knitting needle, and sometimes—for no
reason at all, for there wasn’t any breeze—the blind swung out and
back, tapping the window.
Alice was making water-cress sandwiches. She had a lump of butter on
the table, a barracouta loaf, and the cresses tumbled in a white cloth.
But propped against the butter dish there was a dirty, greasy little
book, half unstitched, with curled edges, and while she mashed the
butter she read:
“To dream of black-beetles drawing a hearse is bad. Signifies death of
one you hold near or dear, either father, husband, brother, son, or
intended. If beetles crawl backwards as you watch them it means death
from fire or from great height such as flight of stairs, scaffolding,
etc.
“Spiders. To dream of spiders creeping over you is good. Signifies
large sum of money in near future. Should party be in family way an
easy confinement may be expected. But care should be taken in sixth
month to avoid eating of probable present of shell fish. . . .”
How many thousand birds I see.
Oh, life. There was Miss Beryl. Alice dropped the knife and slipped the
_Dream Book_ under the butter dish. But she hadn’t time to hide it
quite, for Beryl ran into the kitchen and up to the table, and the
first thing her eye lighted on were those greasy edges. Alice saw Miss
Beryl’s meaning little smile and the way she raised her eyebrows and
screwed up her eyes as though she were not quite sure what that could
be. She decided to answer if Miss Beryl should ask her: “Nothing as
belongs to you, Miss.” But she knew Miss Beryl would not ask her.
Alice was a mild creature in reality, but she had the most marvellous
retorts ready for questions that she knew would never be put to her.
The composing of them and the turning of them over and over in her mind
comforted her just as much as if they’d been expressed. Really, they
kept her alive in places where she’d been that chivvied she’d been
afraid to go to bed at night with a box of matches on the chair in case
she bit the tops off in her sleep, as you might say.
“Oh, Alice,” said Miss Beryl. “There’s one extra to tea, so heat a
plate of yesterday’s scones, please. And put on the Victoria sandwich
as well as the coffee cake. And don’t forget to put little doyleys
under the plates—will you? You did yesterday, you know, and the tea
looked so ugly and common. And, Alice, don’t put that dreadful old pink
and green cosy on the afternoon teapot again. That is only for the
mornings. Really, I think it ought to be kept for the kitchen—it’s so
shabby, and quite smelly. Put on the Japanese one. You quite
understand, don’t you?”
Miss Beryl had finished.
That sing aloud from every tree . . .
she sang as she left the kitchen, very pleased with her firm handling
of Alice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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