Europe -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; New Zealand -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, New Zealand
Madame is thin and dark, too, with white cheeks and white hands. In
certain lights she looks quite transparent, shining out of her black
shawl with an extraordinary effect. When she is not serving she sits on
a stool with her face turned, always, to the window. Her dark-ringed
eyes search among and follow after the people passing, but not as if
she was looking for somebody. Perhaps, fifteen years ago, she was; but
now the pose has become a habit. You can tell from her air of fatigue
and hopelessness that she must have given them up for the last ten
years, at least. . . .
And then there is the waiter. Not pathetic—decidedly not comic. Never
making one of those perfectly insignificant remarks which amaze you so
coming from a waiter, (as though the poor wretch were a sort of cross
between a coffee-pot and a wine bottle and not expected to hold so much
as a drop of anything else). He is grey, flat-footed and withered, with
long, brittle nails that set your nerves on edge while he scrapes up
your two sous. When he is not smearing over the table or flicking at a
dead fly or two, he stands with one hand on the back of a chair, in his
far too long apron, and over his other arm the three-cornered dip of
dirty napkin, waiting to be photographed in connection with some
wretched murder. “Interior of Café where Body was Found.” You’ve seen
him hundreds of times.
Do you believe that every place has its hour of the day when it really
does come alive? That’s not exactly what I mean. It’s more like this.
There does seem to be a moment when you realize that, quite by
accident, you happen to have come on to the stage at exactly the moment
you were expected. Everything is arranged for you—waiting for you. Ah,
master of the situation! You fill with important breath. And at the
same time you smile, secretly, slyly, because Life seems to be opposed
to granting you these entrances, seems indeed to be engaged in
snatching them from you and making them impossible, keeping you in the
wings until it is too late, in fact. . . . Just for once you’ve beaten
the old hag.
I enjoyed one of these moments the first time I ever came in here.
That’s why I keep coming back, I suppose. Revisiting the scene of my
triumph, or the scene of the crime where I had the old bitch by the
throat for once and did what I pleased with her.
Query: Why am I so bitter against Life? And why do I see her as a
rag-picker on the American cinema, shuffling along wrapped in a filthy
shawl with her old claws crooked over a stick?
Answer: The direct result of the American cinema acting upon a weak
mind.
Anyhow, the “short winter afternoon was drawing to a close,” as they
say, and I was drifting along, either going home or not going home,
when I found myself in here, walking over to this seat in the corner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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