"'Don't worry--watch me tell it to 'em,' I says to Joe, as I stuffs the roll 'n' starts fur the stand. I was feelin' purty good. "'Wait a minute,' says Joe, runnin' after me. 'You can't tell them people nothin'. You ain't wise to that bunch yet. Bud--why, they'll kid you silly before they hand it to you, 'n' then change the subject to somethin' interestin', like where to get pompono cooked to suit 'em. I've been up against it,' he says, ''n' I'm tellin' you right. Just keep stallin' around when you get in the stand, 'n' act like you don't know the war's over.' "'Furget it,' I says. 'I'll show those big stiffs where to head in. I'll hypnotize the old owls. I'll give 'em a song 'n' dance that's right!' "As I goes up the steps I see the judges settin' in their chairs, 'n' I takes off my hat. Colonel King ain't settin', he's standin' up with his hands in his pockets. Somehow, when I sees _him_ I begins to wilt--he looks so clean. He's got a white mustache, 'n' his face is kind-a brown 'n' pink. He looks at me a minute out of them blue eyes of his. "'Are you the owner of Count Noble, Mr.--er--?' "'Jones, sir,' I says. "'Jones?' says the colonel. "'Yes, sir,' I says. "'Mr. Jones,' says the colonel, 'how do you account for the fact that on Thursday Count Noble performs disgracefully, and on Saturday runs like a stake horse? Have the days of the week anything to do with it?' "I never says nothin'. I just stands there lookin' at him, foolin' with my hat. "'This is hell," I thinks. "'The judges are interested in this phenomenon, Mr. Jones, and we have sent for you, thinking perhaps you can throw a little light on the matter,' says the colonel, 'n' waits fur me again. "'Come on . . . get busy!' I says to myself. 'You can kid along with a bunch of bums, 'n' it sounds good--don't get cold feet the first time some class opens his bazoo at you!' But I can't make a noise like a word, on a bet. "'The judges, upon looking over the betting sheets of the two races in which your horse appeared, find them quite interesting,' says the colonel. 'The odds were short in the race he did _not_ win; they remained unchanged--in fact, rose--since only a small amount was wagered on his chances. On the other hand, these facts are reversed in to-day's race, which he _won_. It seems possible that you and your friends who were pessimists on Thursday became optimists today, and benefited by the change. Have you done so?' "I see I has to get some sort-a language out of me. "'He was a better hoss to-day--that's all I knows about it,' I says. "'The _first_ part of your statement seems well within the facts,' says the colonel. 'He was, apparently, a much better horse to-day. But these gentlemen and myself, having the welfare of the American thoroughbred at heart, would be glad to learn by what method he was so greatly improved.'