“Brave! Men who have sailed with him say he knows no fear; the last
voyage they tell how he sprang into the icy sea, all booted as he was,
waves mountain high, the night of inky blackness, to save a worthless,
brutal Lascar sailor. Tender as a woman, when a mere child as careful
of baby Cousin Lucy as a granddame could be, and ever her sturdy little
knight and champion from babyhood. Poor Jack!”
Again the current of his thought changed its course. He paused and
whispered to himself, “Lucy, am I worthy of her? Shall I prove as kind,
as true and brave a husband as Jack would be to her? Oh! God, I hope so,
I will try so hard. Sometimes there seems to come a strange inexplicable
spell over my spirit—a something that is beyond my control. A madness
seems to possess my very soul. Involuntarily I say and do that, during
the time that this mysterious influence holds me powerless in its grasp,
that is so foreign to my natural self that I shudder and grow sick at
heart at the thought of the end to which it may lead me.”
At the recollection of some horror of the past the young man’s face paled
and he shivered as if struck by a cold blast of winter wind.
“Ought I to tell Lucy of these singular manifestations? Ought I to alarm
my darling concerning something that may partly be imaginary? I am
uncertain what, loving her as I do, is right; I can always absent myself
from her presence when I feel that hateful influence upon me, and perhaps
after I am married I may be freed from the horrible thraldom of that
irresistible power that clutches me in its terrible grasp. I cannot bear
the idea of giving my dear love useless pain or trouble. Had I not better
wait?”
At that moment some unpleasant fact must have suggested itself or rather
forced itself upon Burton’s mind for he pushed back the piano-stool and
rising walked with impatient steps about the room, saying:
“It would be ridiculous! Absurd! Really unworthy of both Lucy and myself
even to mention the subject! Long ago that old, nonsensical prejudice had
disappeared, at least among cultivated people in America. There is not
a shade of doubt but that both the Messrs. Dunlap and Lucy are aware of
the fact that my mother was a quadroon. Doubtless that circumstance is
deemed so trivial that it never has occurred to them to mention it to me.
People of education and refinement, regardless of the color of skin, are
welcome in the home of the Dunlaps as everywhere else where enlightenment
has dispelled prejudice.”
He paused and bursting into a musical and merry laugh at something that
his memory recalled, exclaimed,
“Why, I have seen men and women as black as the proverbial ‘ace of
spades,’ the guests of honor in Mr. James Dunlap’s house, as elsewhere in
Boston. I shall neither bore nor insult the intelligence of my sweetheart
or her family by introducing the absurd subject of blood in connection
with our marriage. The idea of blood making any difference! Men are
neither hounds nor horses!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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