Blue-Stocking Hall, (Vol. 3 of 3)Scargill, William Pitt
General
Blue-Stocking Hall, (Vol. 3 of 3)
Scargill, William Pitt
Epistolary fiction; Women -- Conduct of life -- Fiction; Women -- Education -- Fiction
My college course just finished, my degree taken, and the mind
experiencing the _pains_ of liberty, not its _pleasures_, how delightful
is this new direction of its activity! I cannot describe the feelings
with which I paid my last accounts to Alma Mater, and took leave _for
ever_ of a heap of books which now that I am not obliged to read, I dare
say I shall never be likely to open again.
Well, man is surely a perfect enigma! _Venteroli_, _La Place_, _La
Croix_, all those volumes with the red, blue, and yellow, covers, which
when lying on my table you used to call my _parterre of tulips_, and at
which I have often worked till my mind was reduced to a state of complete
inanition, became objects of affection when the task was finished,--_not_
that I had any inclination to continue the toil, when the necessity for
it had ceased; but I regretted the absence of that necessity, and sat
mournfully gazing on those books which I had longed so often to lay upon
the shelf. I felt exactly, I dare say, as a piece of clock-work would
tell us that it does, were it able to speak, when the main spring, after
being wound up to the utmost extremity of tension, is suddenly let go,
and flies back with proportionate and painful velocity. In short, I
know not how to express the collapsed, unstrung, nerveless condition of
my mind, which I suppose was somewhat over wrought by study, and the
repose for which I had so often sighed, had so little rest for me when it
arrived, that I should gladly have preferred the labour of a coal porter
to the relaxation which I had been anticipating with such impatience.
Doctor Evelyn is certainly right, when he says that every gratification
to be truly felt, must be _earned_; and when I ceased to _earn_, I ceased
to enjoy. All this egotism would be unpardonable if it were not necessary
to your right understanding of my present gratitude for the delightful
excitement in prospect.
Emily, Charlotte, Fanny, and I, have something new and stimulating to
talk of, and our preparations for quitting home already occupy hands as
well as heads. We build castles, lay plans, read books with reference to
our _travels_, and, by-the-bye, Em. and I are so completely bitten by
the idea of visiting the vallies of Piémont, that I prepare you now for
being pressed into the service. We are longing, too, to be acquainted
with your friend Falkland: and dear Phil. who has promised my poor uncle
to accompany the party, writes to Stanhope to meet us at Turin with Mr.
Oliphant, junior. So really it is quite an _embarras de richesses_, and
I should be too happy were it not for a few counteracting circumstances
which put a wholesome log about my neck, and restrain my buoyancy from
breaking into any indecorous exuberance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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