Bones and I : $b or, the skeleton at homeWhyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
Philosophy
Bones and I : $b or, the skeleton at home
Whyte-Melville, G. J. (George John)
English fiction -- 19th century; Paranormal fiction, English
There is an aphorism in everybody’s mouth about the man who goes to
look for a straight stick in the wood. Hollies, elms, oaks, ashes, and
alders he inspects, sapling after sapling, in vain. This one has a
twist at the handle, that bends a little towards the point; some are
too thick for pliancy, some too thin for strength. Several would do
very well but for the abundant variety that affords a chance of finding
something better. Presently he emerges at the farther fence, having
traversed the covert from end to end, but his hands are still empty,
and he shakes his head, thinking he may have been over-fastidious in
his choice. A straight stick is no easier to find than would be a
four-leaved shamrock.
The man who goes to buy a town house or rent a place in the country
experiences the same difficulty. Up-stairs and down-stairs he travels,
inspecting kitchen-ranges, sinks and sculleries, attics, bedrooms,
boudoirs, and housemaids’ closets, till his legs ache, his brain swims,
and his temper entirely gives way. In London, if the situation is
perfect, there is sure to be no servants’ hall, or the accommodation
below-stairs leaves nothing to be desired, but he cannot undertake to
reside so far from his club. These difficulties overcome, he discovers
the butler’s pantry is so dark no servant of that fastidious order
will consent to stay with him a week. In the country, if the place is
pretty the neighbourhood may be objectionable: the rent is perhaps
delightfully moderate, but he must keep up the grounds and pay the
wages of four gardeners. Suitable in every other respect, he cannot
get the shooting; or if no such drawbacks are to be alleged, there
is surely a railway through the park, and no station within five
miles. Plenty of shamrocks grow, you see, of the trefoil order, green,
graceful, and perfectly symmetrical. It is that fourth leaf he looks
for, which creates all his difficulties.
The same with the gentleman in search of a horse, the same with
Cœlebs in search of a wife. If the former cannot be persuaded to put
up with some little drawback of action, beauty, or temper, he will
never know that most delightful of all partnerships, the sympathy
existing between a good horseman and his steed. If the latter expects
to find a perfection really exist, which he thinks he has discovered
while dazzled by the glamour surrounding a man in love, he deserves
to be disappointed, and he generally is. Rare, rare indeed are the
four-leaved shamrocks in either sex; thrice happy those whom Fate
permits to win and wear them even for a day!
What is it we expect to find? In this matter of marriage more than
in any other our anticipations are so exorbitant that we cannot be
surprised if our “come-down” is disheartening in proportion.
“Where is the maiden of mortal strain
That may match with the Baron of Triermain?
She must be lovely, constant, and kind,
Holy and pure, and humble of mind,” etc.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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