Boon, The Mind of the Race, The Wild Asses of the Devil, and The Last Trump;: Being a First Selection from the Literary Remains of George Boon, Appropriate to the TimesWells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Philosophy
Boon, The Mind of the Race, The Wild Asses of the Devil, and The Last Trump;: Being a First Selection from the Literary Remains of George Boon, Appropriate to the Times
Wells, H. G. (Herbert George)
English fiction -- 20th century; Satire
I do not know what happened to that child when at last it was time for
Judgement Day and that shining trumpet was missed. I know that
Judgement Day is long overpassed, because of the wickedness of the
world; I think perhaps it was in A.D. 1000 when the expected Day
should have dawned that never came, but no other heavenly particulars
do I know at all, because now my scene changes to the narrow ways of
this Earth....
And the Prologue in Heaven ends.
§ 3
And now the scene is a dingy little shop in Caledonian Market, where
things of an incredible worthlessness lie in wait for such as seek
after an impossible cheapness. In the window, as though it had always
been there and never anywhere else, lies a long, battered, discoloured
trumpet of brass that no prospective purchaser has ever been able to
sound. In it mice shelter, and dust and fluff have gathered after the
fashion of this world. The keeper of the shop is a very old man, and
he bought the shop long ago, but already this trumpet was there; he
has no idea whence it came, nor its country or origin, nor anything
about it. But once in a moment of enterprise that led to nothing he
decided to call it an Ancient Ceremonial Shawm, though he ought to
have known that whatever a shawm may be the last thing it was likely
to be is a trumpet, seeing that they are always mentioned together.
And above it hung concertinas and melodeons and cornets and tin
whistles and mouth-organs and all that rubbish of musical instruments
which delight the hearts of the poor. Until one day two blackened
young men from the big motor works in the Pansophist Road stood
outside the window and argued.
They argued about these instruments in stock and how you made these
instruments sound, because they were fond of argument, and one
asserted and the other denied that he could make every instrument in
the place sound a note. And the argument rose high, and led to a bet.
"Supposing, of course, that the instrument is in order," said Hoskin,
who was betting he could.
"That's understood," said Briggs.
And then they called as witnesses certain other young and black and
greasy men in the same employment, and after much argument and
discussion that lasted through the afternoon, they went in to the
little old dealer about teatime, just as he was putting a blear-eyed,
stinking paraffin-lamp to throw an unfavourable light upon his always
very unattractive window. And after great difficulty they arranged
that for the sum of one shilling, paid in advance, Hoskin should have
a try at every instrument in the shop that Briggs chose to indicate.
And the trial began.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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