Boon, The Mind of the Race, The Wild Asses of the Devil, and The Last Trump;: Being a First Selection from the Literary Remains of George Boon, Appropriate to the TimesWells, H. G. (Herbert George)
Philosophy
Boon, The Mind of the Race, The Wild Asses of the Devil, and The Last Trump;: Being a First Selection from the Literary Remains of George Boon, Appropriate to the Times
Wells, H. G. (Herbert George)
English fiction -- 20th century; Satire
The third instrument that was pitched upon by Briggs for the trial was
the strange trumpet that lay at the bottom of the window, the trumpet
that you, who have read the Introduction, know was the trumpet for the
Last Trump. And Hoskin tried and tried again, and then, blowing
desperately, hurt his ears. But he could get no sound from the
trumpet. Then he examined the trumpet more carefully and discovered
the mice and fluff and other things in it, and demanded that it should
be cleaned; and the old dealer, nothing loth, knowing they were used
to automobile-horns and such-like instruments, agreed to let them
clean it on condition that they left it shiney. So the young men,
after making a suitable deposit (which, as you shall hear, was
presently confiscated), went off with the trumpet, proposing to clean
it next day at the works and polish it with the peculiarly excellent
brass polish employed upon the honk-honk horns of the firm. And this
they did, and Hoskin tried again.
But he tried in vain. Whereupon there arose a great argument about the
trumpet, whether it was in order or not, whether it was possible for
any one to sound it. For if not, then clearly it was outside the
condition of the bet.
Others among the young men tried it, including two who played wind
instruments in a band and were musically knowing men. After their own
failure they were strongly on the side of Hoskin and strongly against
Briggs, and most of the other young men were of the same opinion.
"Not a bit of it," said Briggs, who was a man of resource. "_I_'ll
show you that it can be sounded."
And taking the instrument in his hand, he went towards a peculiarly
powerful foot blow-pipe that stood at the far end of the toolshed.
"Good old Briggs!" said one of the other young men, and opinion veered
about.
Briggs removed the blow-pipe from its bellows and tube, and then
adjusted the tube very carefully to the mouthpiece of the trumpet.
Then with great deliberation he produced a piece of bees-waxed string
from a number of other strange and filthy contents in his pocket and
tied the tube to the mouthpiece. And then he began to work the treadle
of the bellows.
"Good old Briggs!" said the one who had previously admired him.
And then something incomprehensible happened.
It was a flash. Whatever else it was, it was a flash. And a sound that
seemed to coincide exactly with the flash.
Afterwards the young men agreed to it that the trumpet blew to bits.
It blew to bits and vanished, and they were all flung upon their
faces--not backward, be it noted, but on their faces--and Briggs was
stunned and scared. The toolshed windows were broken and the various
apparatus and cars around were much displaced, and _no traces of the
trumpet were ever discovered_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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