Borderland : $b a country-town chronicleFothergill, Jessie
General
Borderland : $b a country-town chronicle
Fothergill, Jessie
English fiction -- 19th century
On going in on Christmas Eve, Roger was, for once, not at all sorry
to find that the Dixons had friends with them. Mr. Dixon received
him heartily, Ada demurely, Mrs. Dixon coldly, scarcely speaking to
him at all. There was a miserable constraint and unreality about
everything. Roger felt it a relief to himself, and had a bitter
conviction that it was also one to Ada, when he had to tell her that
he had promised Mr. Johnson to take all the organist’s duty on the
following day, in order that that official might take a holiday and
visit some friends. His time would, therefore, be so much taken up
that he would not be able to call and see her before service. She
heard his excuse with indifference, and Roger went to bed that
night, and arose also on the following morning, with a heavy problem
agitating his mind. How was he to treat her? What was he to do with
this wilful creature whom he loved so much, and who had succeeded in
making their mutual relations so miserable and so embarrassed? For
it was he who had been sinned against, as he very well knew, and
though in his tenderness he was ready to condone that, and would
have eagerly made an effort after any reconciliation that should
have reality in it, yet the sense of duty and of the fitness of
things stepped in, and told him that to let a condition of things be
initiated in which the woman was to be humoured even when wrong, and
the man was to beg forgiveness for all misunderstandings, whether
caused by himself or not, was simple madness. Yet how he was to
institute anything more reasonable, he did not see, unless Ada were
brought to see that she had behaved badly, of which truth not the
most glimmering consciousness seemed to have been afforded her.
With this trouble in his mind he went to church on Christmas
morning, and tried, almost unconsciously, to find a solution to his
difficulties in the language spoken to him by his music. To a
certain extent he found what he wanted; he received soothing, and
that alone was a help to counsel. It was not the first time that
music had come to him with healing on her wings; most likely it
would not be the last.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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