Oh, you little mortal known as man; you microscopical mixture of
protoplasm and egotism; you atomical speck of ignorance and avarice; you
who believe that the earth, moon, stars and all creation was
manufactured for your special benefit; if you could only be shown your
actual size in the universe as I was on that occasion, I think it would
result in the eradication of some of your innate vanity and selfishness,
thereby proving an incalculable blessing to you.
And now at last I was placed in a position whereby I could feel and
reflect upon my own littleness. I had absolutely no hope of being saved
from a watery grave, feeling that it was only a matter of an hour or two
before I should succumb to the inevitable and sink to the bottom of the
sea. Still I was unwilling to give up the few bones entrusted to my care
until finally overcome by exhaustion and so I kept afloat by lying on my
back and exerting myself as little as possible.
At length, however, my strength gave way entirely and I felt that the
time had arrived when I must come face to face with the God whom I had
been taught to believe in from infancy according to the Christian faith.
Then it seemed that a million thoughts crowded themselves into my brain
at the same time.
How would He receive me? What dire judgment would He pass upon me? Had I
ever done anything to merit His pleasure? I could not recollect one good
deed I had ever accomplished of sufficient importance to call to His
attention, but on the contrary I recalled a thousand bad acts I should
not have committed. I had spent a roving, aimless existence in which I
had done practically nothing to increase the production or knowledge of
the world, I had lived for myself alone--a life of mere pleasure
seeking, without ever a thought of others' rights or happiness. I
remembered that during a hunting expedition in Africa how I had once
shot and killed seventeen spring-bok in one day, and how I had swelled
up with conceit to know that I had destroyed the lives of that many
living things. True, they were not human beings, but were they not
creatures of nature as well as myself? What right had I to take the life
of any living thing at all, let alone for mere pleasure? What excuse
could I now offer if tried for that cowardly offence? Would I ask God's
forgiveness? If so, would it be any better to ask Him to forgive me just
before I died or immediately afterward? What difference would it make?
Then again I wondered if God would have any more respect for me if after
committing the deed I whined and begged for mercy. Would He not consider
that cowardly on my part? Would He not think better of me if I went
forward bravely and said: Here I am, O God, I know I have done wrong,
now punish me as Thou see'st fit. What would I do if I were to occupy
the Creator's position as supreme judge in a case of that kind? Would I
not think far more of the man who would come forward courageously and
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