England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
'Not I. To tell you the truth, I'm not at all sorry to leave. It was a
mistake that I went in for the Arts course--Greek, and Latin, and so
on, you know; I ought to have stuck to science. I shall go back to it
now. Don't be afraid. I'll make a position for myself before long. I'll
repay all you have spent on me.'
To this conclusion had he come. The process of mind was favoured by his
defeat in all the Arts subjects; in that direction he could see only
the triumphant Chilvers, a figure which disgusted him with Greeks,
Romans, and all the ways of literature. As to his future efforts he was
by no means clear, but it eased him greatly to have cast off a burden
of doubt; his theorising intellect loved the sensation of life thrown
open to new, however vague, possibilities. At present he was convinced
that Andrew Peak had done him a service. In this there was an
indication of moral cowardice, such as commonly connects itself with
intense pride of individuality. He desired to shirk the combat with
Chilvers, and welcomed as an excuse for doing so the shame which
another temper would have stubbornly defied.
Now he would abandon his B.A. examination,--a clear saving of money.
Presently it might suit him to take the B.Sc. instead; time enough to
think of that. Had he but pursued the Science course from the first,
who at Whitelaw could have come out ahead of him? He had wasted a
couple of years which might have been most profitably applied: by this
time he might have been ready to obtain a position as demonstrator in
some laboratory, on his way perhaps to a professorship. How had he thus
been led astray? Not only had his boyish instincts moved strongly
towards science, but was not the tendency of the age in the same
direction? Buckland Warricombe, who habitually declaimed against
classical study, was perfectly right; the world had learned all it
could from those hoary teachers, and must now turn to Nature. On every
hand, the future was with students of the laws of matter. Often, it was
true, he had been tempted by the thought of a literary career; he had
written in verse and prose, but with small success. An attempt to
compose the Prize Poem was soon abandoned in discouragement; the essay
he sent in had not been mentioned. These honours had fallen to
Earwaker, with whom it was not easy to compete on such ground. No, he
was not born a man of letters. But in science, granted fair
opportunity, he might make a name. He might, and he would!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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