* * * * * “A dull German baron had got amongst the English at Geneva, and, being highly pleased with their spirit, wanted to imitate them. One day an Englishman came in to the baron’s room, and found him jumping with all his might upon the chairs and down again, so that he was all in a sweat. ‘Mon Dieu! Monsieur le baron,’ dit-il, ‘que faites-vous?’ (‘Good God! baron,’ said he, ‘what are you about?’) ‘Monsieur,’ replied the baron, wiping down his temples with a handkerchief, ‘j’apprens d’être vif’ (‘I am learning to be lively’).” MADEMOISELLE DE ZOILEN. * * * * * “Mr. Thomas Hunter,[144] minister at New Cumnock, was visiting his parish on a very cold day. At a substantial farmer’s they set him down an excellent smoaking _haggis_. ‘Come,’ said he, ‘here is the grace:—O Lord, we thank Thee for this warm Providence.’” LORD AUCHINLECK. * * * * * “When Mr. Sheridan lived at Windsor he used often to meet a very awkward fellow who did not know how to hold his arms. Mr. Sheridan said the fellow always made him imagine that he was carrying home a pair of arms that somebody had bespoke.” From himself. * * * * * “When Mr. David Hume began first to be known in the world as a philosopher, Mr. Thomas White, a decent rich merchant of London, said to him, ‘I am surprised, Mr. Hume, that a man of your good sense should think of being a philosopher. Why, I now took it into my head to be a philosopher for some time, but tired of it most confoundedly, and very soon gave it up.’ ‘Pray, sir,’ said Mr. Hume, ‘in what branch of philosophy did you employ your researches? What books did you read?’ ‘Books?’ said Mr. White; ‘nay, sir, I read no books, but I used to sit you whole forenoons a-yawning and poking the fire.’” SIR DAVID DALRYMPLE.[145] * * * * * “Pierot, the biting French satirist, had often applied to be admitted member of the Academie Royale, and still was rejected. One day, after hearing their disquisitions, a freind (_sic_) asked him, ‘N’ont-ils pas beaucoup d’esprit?’ ‘Esprit?’ replied Pierot, ‘sans doute ils out beaucoup d’esprit. Ils out esprit _comme_ quatre.’ The society is forty-eight in number.” * * * * *