| | hat and stick. | | à la mode | allah mode | Tea at two o’clock | | in the afternoon. [2] The maid. WHAT YOU GET FOR YOUR MONEY The box-office price of a theatre ticket is two dollars. The average play runs from 8.25 until 10.55--in other words, about two hours and a half. A total, that is, of one hundred and fifty minutes. The intermissions between the acts amount, at a rough estimate, to a total of about thirty-five minutes. Subtract the thirty-five minutes from the one hundred and fifty minutes, and we have left one hundred and fifteen minutes. You pay, therefore, two dollars for one hundred and fifteen minutes of entertainment, or about one and three-quarters cents a minute. Let us now see what you get for your money, and also the equivalent of what you could get for it did you spend it in other directions. A few illustrations may suffice to make one pause and reflect: =I= “Oh, oh, what have I done that I should be made to suffer } so! It was _because_ I love you that I acted as I did! } But--you don’t understand; you _won’t_ understand!! } 1 glass (_Buries her face in her arms. He goes to mantel and } of stands gazing abstractedly into the grate._) If only } Pilsner I could _make_ you see! Jim, oh Jim, _please_--for our } children’s sake!” } =II= “And to think, darling, that you mistrusted me! To think } you did not know from the first moment I saw you, in your } youth and beauty, that I loved you! Your money? BAH! } It’s _you_ I love, sweetheart, with every fibre of my } 1 glass being--_you_, _you_! (_He strains her to him._) Come into } of these arms, dear, these arms that have longed to clasp } Würzburger you within them. They shall ever be your haven from the } toil and turmoil of the world. They shall protect you } from temptation. I love you; I love you!” (_He kisses } her passionately._) } =III= “Listen, Hubert; it is but right you should know before } you judge me. I wasn’t immoral; I was merely unmoral. I } trusted him and he (_she averts his gaze_) deceived me. } I was a girl, Hubert, a mere tender girl. He painted } 1 glass for my innocent eyes the splendor of a great career and } of I--I believed him. You must believe me, Hubert, you must } Hofbräu believe me! _I didn’t know--I didn’t know!!_ I believed } him! You must believe me, Hubert, you _must_, you _must_! } Look into my eyes and see for yourself it is the truth I } am telling you! } Transcriber's Notes A number of typographical errors were corrected silently. Cover image is in the public domain.