COX. Consequently, in the bathing season--which luckily is rather a long one--we see but little of each other; but as that is now over, I am daily indulging in the expectation of being blessed with the sight of _my_ beloved. [_Very seriously._] Are _you_ married? BOX. Me? Why--not exactly! COX. Ah--a happy bachelor! BOX. Why--not--precisely! COX. Oh! a--widower? BOX. No--not absolutely! COX. You'll excuse me, sir--but at present I don't exactly understand how you can help being one of the three. BOX. Not help it? COX. No, sir--not you, nor any other man alive! BOX. Ah, that may be--but I'm not alive! COX. [_Pushing back his chair._] You'll excuse me, sir--but I don't like joking upon such subjects. BOX. I'm perfectly serious, sir. I've been defunct for the last three years! COX. [_Shouting._] Will you be quiet, sir? BOX. If you won't believe me, I'll refer you to a very large, numerous, and respectable circle of disconsolate friends. COX. My dear sir--my _very_ dear sir--if there does exist any ingenious contrivance whereby a man on the eve of committing matrimony can leave this world, and yet stop in it, I shouldn't be sorry to know it. BOX. Oh! then I presume I'm not to set you down as being frantically attached to your intended? COX. Why, not exactly; and yet, at present, I'm only aware of one obstacle to my doating upon her, and that is, that I can't abide her! BOX. Then there's nothing more easy. Do as I did. COX. [_Eagerly._] I will! What was it? BOX. Drown yourself! COX. [_Shouting again._] Will you be quiet, sir? BOX. Listen to me. Three years ago it was my misfortune to captivate the affections of a still blooming, though somewhat middle-aged widow, at Ramsgate. COX. [_Aside._] Singular enough! Just my case three months ago at Margate. BOX. Well, sir, to escape her importunities, I came to the determination of enlisting into the Blues, or Life Guards. COX. [_Aside._] So did I. How very odd! BOX. But they wouldn't have me--they actually had the effrontery to say that I was too short-- COX. [_Aside._] And I wasn't tall enough! BOX. So I was obliged to content myself with a marching regiment--I enlisted! COX. [_Aside._] So did I. Singular coincidence! BOX. I'd no sooner done so, than I was sorry for it. COX. [_Aside._] So was I. BOX. My infatuated widow offered to purchase my discharge, on condition that I'd lead her to the altar. COX. [_Aside._] Just my case! BOX. I hesitated--at last I consented. COX. [_Aside._] I consented at once!