_Enter She-wolf with two boys in her mouth, John following_. _John_. She-monster, tell me, what have you got there? _Wolf_. Two kids, my John; and dinner-time is near. _Rom. and Rem._ Oh my! alas! help! hi! Will no one hear? _John (smacking his lips_). Say, gentle Lupus, where didst find them both? _Wolf_. Listen! I'll tell you while you lay the cloth. (_Sings_). I'm a wolf, I'm a wolf, in this big lonely wood, And I live in a hole in a tree, And I daily prowl forth in my free, hungry mood To look for my dinner and tea. I never object to the wing of a man, Or a tender young lamb gives me joy; But what I like best is a slice off the breast, Or the leg, or the arm, of a boy. To-day I'm in luck, as you plainly may see By the morsels that kick in my maw; Fetch a knife, fork, and spoon, John, for you and for me. Dinner's ready! Young boys taste best raw. _Rom._ Oh, impious monster, hold thy howling jaw! And you, John, to your flocks return once more. Forbear to talk of eating me and Remus, You ugly, wicked, ill-conditioned schemers. 1. Here I should remark that to be strictly accurate my tragedy should be called a tragic opera. It abounds in songs calculated to stir familiar chords in the breasts of a popular and juvenile audience. 2. It may here be objected that my heroes are at this time only a few weeks old. But instances of precocious children (especially in tragic drama) are not unheard of; and after careful inquiry the author is not satisfied that in the present case the young persons in question did not speak fluently. Allowance must, of course, be made for youthful inexperience in the matter of rhymes. _Remus_. D'you hear, you cads? Shut up, and let us be. You shall not dine off Romulus and me! _John (in alarm_). Upon my word! What if the boys are right? Friend Lupus, thanks--I'd rather not to-night. _Wolf (scornfully_). What? Do you funk it? Well, I call that rough. _John_. Fact is, I can't help thinking they'd taste tough. _Rom. and Rem. (excitedly_). We would! we would! we're awful tough to eat; We're only skin and bone and gristle; and no meat. (_They sing_). Two little kids from nurse are we, Skinny as two kids can be; Never a bite since yesterday, Two little kids from nurse. Dropped we were by our cruel ma (With full consent of our awful pa) Into the stream of the river Tiber - Two little kids from nurse. We were nearly drowned, when the stream stood still And left us dry (and hungry) till This old she-wolf came to take her fill Of two little kids from nurse. You let us be, or we'll tell our ma, And she'll inform our awful pa; If he comes round, you'll catch a Tartar-- Two little kids from nurse. _Wolf (turning pale_). Your words alarm me! Gentle lads, behold, I'll be your nurse until you're two years old. Then if you have not found your pa or ma, I will adopt you. What say you?