"I got in and the Judge went on reading some court papers. Soon the carriage struck a stump on one side of the road and then something else on the other side. I looked out and saw the driver jerking from one side to the other on his seat, so I said, 'Judge I think your driver has taken a drop too much of liquor this morning.' "'Well I declare Lincoln,' said he, 'I should not much wonder if you are right, for he has nearly upset me half a dozen times since starting.' Putting his head out of the window he shouted, 'You scoundrel, you are drunk.' "Upon which pulling up his horses and turning around with gravity, the driver said, 'Golly, but that's the first rightful decision your honor has given for the last twelve months.'" GOD NEEDED CHURCH FOR SOLDIERS. "Among the numerous applicants who visited the White House one day was a well-dressed lady. She came forward without apparent embarassment in her air or manner, and addressed the president. Giving her a very close and scrutinizing look, he said: "'Well, madam, what can I do for you?' "She told him that she lived in Alexandria; that the church where she worshiped had been taken for a hospital. "'What church, madam?' Mr. Lincoln asked in a quick, nervous manner. "'The ---- Church,' she replied; 'and as there are only two or three wounded soldiers in it, I came to see if you would not let us have it, as we want it very much to worship God in.' "'Madam, have you been to see the Post Surgeon at Alexandria about this matter?' "'Yes sir; but we could do nothing with him.' "'Well, we put him there to attend to just such business, and it is reasonable to suppose that he knows better what should be done under the circumstances than I do. See here; you say you live in Alexandria; probably you own property there. How much will you give to assist in building a hospital?" "'You know, Mr. Lincoln, our property is very much embarassed by the war;--so, really, I could hardly afford to give much for such a purpose.' "'Well, madam, I expect we shall have another fight soon; and my opinion is, God wants that church for poor wounded Union soldiers as much as he does for secesh people to worship in.' Turning to his table he said, quite abruptly: 'You will excuse me; I can do nothing for you. Good day, madam.'" A DOUBTFUL ABUTMENT. In Abbott's "History of the Civil War," the following story is told as one of Lincoln's "hardest hits:" "I once knew," said Lincoln, "a sound churchman by the name of Brown, who was a member of a very sober and pious committee having in charge the erection of a bridge over a dangerous and rapid river. Several architects failed, and at last Brown said he had a friend named Jones, who had built several bridges and undoubtedly could build that one. So Mr. Jones was called in. "'Can you build this bridge?' inquired the committee. "'Yes,' replied Jones, 'or any other. I could build a bridge to the infernal regions if necessary!'