Business -- Fiction; Science fiction; Short stories
"By the by, Racehorse, that was a brilliant piece of work getting the
helium out of the government--they've been pretty stuffy lately about
their monopoly. But first I want to throw wide the casement in your
minds that opens on the Long View of Things."
Rose Thinker spun twice on her chair and opened her photocells wide. Tin
Philosopher coughed to limber up the diaphragm of his speaker and
continued:
"Ever since the first cave wife boasted to her next-den neighbor about
the superior paleness and fluffiness of her tortillas, mankind has
sought lighter, whiter bread. Indeed, thinkers wiser than myself have
equated the whole upward course of culture with this poignant quest.
Yeast was a wonderful discovery--for its primitive day. Sifting the bran
and wheat germ from the flour was an even more important advance. Early
bleaching and preserving chemicals played their humble parts.
"For a while, barbarous faddists--blind to the deeply spiritual nature
of bread, which is recognized by all great religions--held back our
march toward perfection with their hair-splitting insistence on the
vitamin content of the wheat germ, but their case collapsed when
tasteless colorless substitutes were triumphantly synthesized and
introduced into the loaf, which for flawless purity, unequaled airiness
and sheer intangible goodness was rapidly becoming mankind's supreme
gustatory experience."
[Illustration]
"I wonder what the stuff tastes like," Rose Thinker said out of a clear
sky.
"I wonder what taste tastes like," Tin Philosopher echoed dreamily.
Recovering himself, he continued:
"Then, early in the twenty-first century, came the epochal researches of
Everett Whitehead, Puffyloaf chemist, culminating in his paper 'The
Structural Bubble in Cereal Masses' and making possible the baking of
airtight bread twenty times stronger (for its weight) than steel and of
a lightness that would have been incredible even to the advanced
chemist-bakers of the twentieth century--a lightness so great that,
besides forming the backbone of our own promotion, it has forever since
been capitalized on by our conscienceless competitors of Fairy Bread
with their enduring slogan: 'It Makes Ghost Toast'."
"That's a beaut, all right, that ecto-dough blurb," Rose Thinker
admitted, bugging her photocells sadly. "Wait a sec. How about?--
"_There'll be bread
Overhead
When you're dead--
It is said._"
* * * * *
Phineas T. Gryce wrinkled his nostrils at the pink machine as if he
smelled her insulation smoldering. He said mildly, "A somewhat unhappy
jingle, Rose, referring as it does to the end of the customer as
consumer. Moreover, we shouldn't overplay the figurative 'rises through
the air' angle. What inspired you?"
She shrugged. "I don't know--oh, yes, I do. I was remembering one of the
workers' songs we machines used to chant during the Big Strike--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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