Until one day, when the Council was discussing a new Byelaw to prevent Children from playing in the Public Parks, he was asked to speak, and, full of the dream, he burst into song, to the great astonishment of all present. He was then asked to resign, which he did. And now, hardly anyone ever calls or even leaves a card. THE HUMILIATING EXPERIENCE OF A FORGOTTEN GOD The great Babylonian god, Marduk, revisiting the earth in the guise of a young man, fell in love with a girl in the silk Department of the Universal Stores. Her name was Lena. ‘O moon-faced one! O white flower of the world! I adore thee,’ Marduk whispered. ‘Thou hast the look of Sarpanitum, the leopard-eyed goddess, in days of old when the stars were young and kind!’ ‘Well, well,’ cried Lena, ‘what will you do to please me?’ ‘I will rebuild Babylon in an hour for thee,’ shouted the god, and away he sped to the great, silent plain, where he laboured mightily. In a short space of time he returned and wafted her away to the scene of his labouring. ‘Look, look,’ he cried, and waved his hand. And there was Babylon, the mighty city of splendour and dream, shimmering and glittering, the wonder of the world. There were the great gates, the towering palaces, the hanging gardens, as of old. ‘Well?’ and Marduk turned to her eagerly when she had gazed her fill, and wiped his forehead, for even he sweated from his vast labours. Lena looked at him: ‘Yes, it’s very nice,’ she said. HOW THE RATIONAL AMUSEMENTS OF THE GREAT ARE LIMITED Before your time, two Mummers and a Unitarian were seated in a tavern playing cards, when a long, sallow-faced man, dressed in black, joined them and asked if he might have a game. He was received cordially, and Whist was proposed, the civilisation of the world not having arrived at Bridge at that time. The Unitarian dealt out the cards, and the Man in black sorted and scrutinized his hand in the manner of one who takes a keen interest in the game. ‘By the way, what are trumps?’ he asked. ‘Hearts,’ replied one of the Mummers. ‘Hearts! Hearts! Red Hearts!’ screamed the Man in black, springing to his feet and spilling his cards in anger. ‘How the myself can I play with hearts as trumps! Any other suit would have done splendidly!’ And, with a loud cry, he jumped through the floor, and as he went the others caught a glimpse, through the crack, of flames, curling and leaping. It is not recorded whether the Unitarian was the more surprised or the two Mummers. THE IMPRUDENCE OF A POLITICIAN IN TRAVELLING FURTHER THAN THE NEWSPAPERS The Member of Parliament for West Churchling had walked far, and, losing his way in the darkness, came to the World’s End. There he spied the Hostel, where, round a bright fire, were seated the three Watchers, Arshel of the Twisted Nose, Zanoah of the Bright Hair, and the other whose name I can never remember. They gave him greeting, and he sat down and warmed his hands by the fire.