Produced by Al Haines. [Illustration: "’TIS YOUR DOING," SPLUTTERED NOAKES, SHAKING THE SOOT FROM HIS CLOTHES. (_See page_ 28)] BRIGHT IDEAS A RECORD OF INVENTION AND MISINVENTION BY HERBERT STRANG ILLUSTRATED BY C. E. BROCK HUMPHREY MILFORD OXFORD UNIVERSITY PRESS LONDON, EDINBURGH, GLASGOW TORONTO, MELBOURNE, CAPE TOWN, BOMBAY 1920 *CONTENTS* THE SMOKE MACHINE TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED A GAS ATTACK THE CLIPPER OF THE ROAD THE COLD WATER CURE A BRUSH WITH THE ENEMY *LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS* _FRONTISPIECE IN COLOUR_ "’’TIS YOUR DOING,’ SPLUTTERED NOAKES, SHAKING THE SOOT FROM HIS CLOTHES" (see p. 38). _Frontispiece_ "THERE WAS A RATTLING SOUND AND NOAKES WAS HALF OBLITERATED" "ITS RIDERS WERE FLUNG INTO THE HEDGE" "TEMPLETON GRIPPED THE UNHAPPY MAN BY THE COLLAR, AND HAULED HIM UP" "’I’VE COTCHED ’EE,’ HE CRIED" "’HERE I BE, AND HERE I BIDE,’ SAID EVES, BRANDISHING THE POKER" "THEY TRIPPED OVER THE WIRE AND SPRAWLED AT FULL LENGTH" "’YES,’ CUT IN EVES, WHO HAD COME OUT INTO THE ROAD. ’IF I WERE YOU, YOUNG FELLER, I’D JOLLY WELL CHUCK HIM INTO THE HORSE-POND’" "THE BOOM SWUNG OUT, AND CAME INTO SHARP CONTACT, FIRST WITH NOAKES’S HEAD, THEN WITH THE WIND-SCREEN" "DAZE ME!’ SAID THE CONSTABLE. ’SURELY—AY, ’TIS THE MAYOR’" "THE WHOLE CONTENTS OF TEMPLETON’S EXPERIMENTAL TANK POURED DOWN" "THE LAD DASHED ITS HEAD FULL IN NOAKES’S FACE" "COVERED THEM WITH A DELUGE OF LIQUID MUD" *THE SMOKE MACHINE* I Bob Templeton tucked a leg under him on the parapet of the bridge on which he was sitting, and with a look of gloomy disgust spread a number of coins, the contents of his trouser pocket, on the weather-beaten stone. "Eleven and ninepence," he said, dolefully. "That’s all." Tom Eves, who had been leaning his elbows on the bridge, and watching the roach darting among the weeds in the clear running stream below, straightened himself, smiled, and, diving a hand into his pocket, gave a comical glance at the coins it returned with, and said: "Well, you beat me. I’ve got seven and fivepence halfpenny, and no chance of more for nearly a couple of months. We’re sturdy beggars: under a pound between us." "You can’t do much with a pound." "True, old sport, and still less with nineteen and twopence halfpenny. Might as well not count the halfpenny." "And there was so much I wanted to do. There’s the levitator, and the smoke machine, and the perpetual pump——" "And the microphone, and the lachrymator, and the super-stink——"