Alternative histories (Fiction); Science fiction; Time travel -- Fiction; United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
The shouts came closer; a boy of about my own age scrambled frantically
over the wall, dislodging some of the smaller lichen-covered rocks on
top and sending them rolling into the ditch. He looked at me, startled,
then paused for a long instant at the road’s edge, undecided which way
to run.
He was barefoot and wore a jute sack as a shirt, with holes cut for his
arms, and ragged cotton pants. His face was little browner than my own
had often been at the end of a summer’s work under a burning sun.
He came to the end of indecision and started across the highway, legs
pumping high, head turned watchfully. A splendid tawny stallion cleared
the wall in a soaring jump, his rider bellowing, “There you are, you
damned black coon!”
He rode straight for the fugitive, quirt upraised, lips thickened and
eyes rolling in rage. The victim dodged and turned; in no more doubt
than I that the horseman meant to ride him down. He darted by me, so
close I heard the labored rasp of breathing.
The rider swerved, and he too twisted around me as though I were the
post at the far turn of a racecourse. Reflexively I put out my hand to
grab at the reins and stop the assault. Indeed, my fingers actually
touched the leather and grasped it for a fraction of a second before
they fell away.
Then I was alone in the road again as both pursued and pursuer vaulted
back over the fence. The whole scene of anger and terror could not have
lasted two minutes; I strained my ears to hear the shouts coming from
farther and farther away. Quiet fell again; a squirrel flirted his tail
and sped down one tree trunk and up another. The episode might never
have happened.
I shifted my bundle back and began walking again—less briskly now. My
legs felt heavy and there was an involuntary twitch in the muscles of
my arm.
Why hadnt I held on to the rein and delayed the hunter, at least long
enough to give his quarry a fair start? What had made me draw back?
It had not been fear, at least in the usual sense, for I knew I wasnt
timorous of the horseman. I was sure I could have dragged him down if
he had taken his quirt to me.
Yet I had been afraid. Afraid of interfering, of meddling in affairs
which were no concern of mine, of risking action on quick judgment.
I had been immobilized by the fear of asserting my sympathies, my
presumptions, against events.
Walking slowly down the road I experienced deep shame. I might, I could
have saved someone from hurt; I had perhaps had the power for a brief
instant to change the course of a whole life. I had been guilty of a
cowardice far worse than mere fear for my skin. I could have wept with
mortification—done anything, in fact, but turn back and try to rectify
my failure.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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