Bringing up the Boy: A Message to Fathers and Mothers from a Boy of Yesterday Concerning the Men of To-morrow — John Shaqi
Bringing up the Boy: A Message to Fathers and Mothers from a Boy of Yesterday Concerning the Men of To-morrowWerner, Carl Avery
Science
Bringing up the Boy: A Message to Fathers and Mothers from a Boy of Yesterday Concerning the Men of To-morrow
Werner, Carl Avery
Boys
It is obviously deserted and abandoned. A pane already shattered in one
of the windows starts the idea. It is far enough back from the street
to make the throw a test of skill. If he misses there’s no harm done.
If he hits there’ll be a noise, a crash, a shower of flying glass
and--Enough! Up goes the arm, away goes the stone with fateful accuracy
and the deed is done. It was the act of a sudden impulse. Before the
conscience within him could assert itself the missile had struck; and
that innate human ambition to produce a visible result was gratified.
The deed is done, and the boy doesn’t know why he did it. But returning
to the hypothesis of the brick and the bottle, perhaps you, madam, can
explain why you would prefer to shoot at the bottle.
In these talks I want to tell mothers something of what I know about
boys; not all about them, but just a few of the more vital things
that every mother of a boy ought to know and every father ought to be
reminded of. I say “reminded” advisedly, for the fathers must have
known some time, though it would seem that most of them have forgotten
now. What I say I know about boys, I know. What I may suggest or advise
is another matter. It can stand only as a belief, an opinion, and my
sole excuse for presuming to offer it is that I love the boy; I live
close to him and I believe in him.
I do not believe that the intuitiveness generally accredited to
motherhood is in the least degree overestimated or exaggerated. But
mere intuitiveness, even in its highest form of development, can hardly
be expected to bridge the natural gap of temperamental sex difference
between mother and son.
Unfortunately, the father, not eager to invade what he believes to
be the mother’s sphere, usually is content to leave the management
of the boy in the mother’s hands, while the mother, not recognising
the deficiency of her position, labours on patiently, lovingly,
untiringly, but in many cases blindly, and often with poor success.
If mothers only understood this it would be better. If they could be
brought to realize the handicap under which they are striving they
could fortify themselves against it. They could deepen the interest
of the father or, failing that, they could at the least draw upon his
experience and knowledge of real boyhood with good effect. But there
are no sex distinctions to the average mother. The boys and the girls
are just “the children” and the difference of sex is lost in the great
catholicity of maternal love.
At the very beginning parents must concede the existence of an inherent
temperamental difference between the boy and the girl. This, for the
mother, is not so easy of adjustment as it may appear. The boy is her
baby, just her baby, from swaddling-clothes to long trousers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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