Broken Homes: A Study of Family Desertion and its Social TreatmentColcord, Joanna C. (Joanna Carver)
General
Broken Homes: A Study of Family Desertion and its Social Treatment
Colcord, Joanna C. (Joanna Carver)
Desertion and non-support
There should be included here some consideration of one of the most
puzzling types of abandonment--the "pregnancy desertion." Attempts have
been made to explain it on the ground of the instinctive aversion of the
male sex for domestic crises. But the impulse that causes the
prosperous householder to move to his club when house-cleaning time
arrives will hardly serve to explain such a custom, and as a matter of
fact other domestic crises, such as illnesses of the children, do not
have any such effect upon the man who habitually absents himself from
home before the birth of each child. Other possible reasons for it are
the well-known irritability and "difficulty" of women in this condition,
and their aversion to sexual intercourse. Some pregnancy deserters take
the step in the hope that their wives will bring about an abortion; but
this is a modern and sophisticated development and the institution of
"pregnancy desertion" is one of undoubted antiquity. Its prevalence
among certain European immigrants would almost point to its being a
racial tradition. Ethnologists who have studied strange marriage
customs, such as the "couvade," ought to turn their attention to
discovering the causes of this other and socially more important marital
vagary.
10. Temperamental Incompatibility.--It is difficult to catalogue and
appraise the causal factors in desertion that lie in personality. They
are closely related to differences in background and are intimately
involved with the sex relations of the pair. We cannot, however, admit
that they are identical with the latter, as some students of the subject
claim; or that the only incompatibility in marriage is sex
incompatibility. Indeed, two people may be so incompatible as to find in
sex their only common ground.
The commonest of these temperamental differences center about
standards of right and wrong or proper and improper conduct.
Especially is this manifested in the bringing up of the children.
Extreme self-righteousness on the part of one or the other, nagging
and petty criticism, unreasonable jealousy, "sulking spells," violent
quarrels, are some of its manifestations. The idea of _possession_
exercised by either of the couple, and especially a tendency to
dominate or try to control on the part of the woman, may be a causal
factor in desertion. The lack of a saving sense of humor in one or
both is often a complicating factor. These comparatively minor
differences take on a serious complexion in the minds of the couple;
and it is surprising how often a deserting man will give promptly and
with every appearance of feeling justified some cause for his
desertion which falls clearly under this head. "People forgive each
other the big things; it's the little things they can't forgive."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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