"Oh! I must, I will give it up," she sobbed; "but if I do, and if you
forgive me, it can never be the same again. You will not think the same
of me--and people have seen me--they all talk about it--and I shall
always be ashamed before them. I am a disgrace to you; Aunt Bolton has
said so again and again. Then there's Charlie; I'm not fit to be his
mother. That is quite true. However long I live, people in Upton will
remember it, and gossip about, it. If they had let me die it would have
been better for us all. You could have loved me then."
"But I love you still," he answered, in a voice of tenderness and pity;
"you are very dear to me. How can I ever cease to love you?"
Yet as he spoke a terrible thought flashed through his mind that his
wife might some day become to him an object of unutterable disgust. An
image of a besotted, drunken woman always in his house, and bearing his
name, stood out for a moment sharply and distinctly before his
imagination. He shuddered, and paused; but almost before she could
notice it, he went on in low and solemn tones.
"Your sin does not separate you from me; you are my wife. I must help
you and save you at whatever cost. Your soul is nearer to mine than any
other; and what one human being can do for the soul of another, it is my
lot to do. Do not be afraid of me, Sophy. You cannot estrange yourself
from me; and yon cannot wear out the patience of God. He is ever waiting
to receive back those who have wandered farthest from him. Can I refuse
love and pity, when He freely gives them in full measure to you? Will
Christ forsake you--He who saved Mary Magdalen? He will cast out this
demon that has possession of you."
He was replying to some of the questions which had troubled him, while
he was kneeling at her side, before she was awake. There was no
separation possible of their lives. If she broke away from him, or if he
sent her away from his home, they would still be bound together by ties
that could never be broken. Whatever depth she sank to, she was his
wife, and he must tread step by step with her the path that ran through
all the future. But if any one could help her, and lead her back out of
her present bondage, it was he; and he must not fail her in any
extremity for lack of pity and tenderness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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