Little Hanno opened wide his gold-brown eyes at the sound: and they
looked, as never before, clear, large, and loving, straight into his
father’s face, with its reddened eyelids under the light brows, its
white puffy cheeks and long stiff moustaches. God knows how much he
understood. But one thing they both felt: in the long second when their
eyes met, all constraint, coldness, and misunderstanding melted away.
Hanno might fail his father in all that demanded vitality, energy and
strength. But where fear and suffering were in question, there Thomas
Buddenbrook could count on the devotion of his son. On that common
ground they met as one.
He did not realize this--he tried not to realize it. In the days
that followed, he urged Hanno on more sternly than ever to practical
preparations for his future career. He tested his mental powers,
pressed him to commit himself upon the subject of his calling, and grew
irritated at every sign of rebellion or fatigue. For the truth was that
Thomas Buddenbrook, at the age of forty-eight, began to feel that his
days were numbered, and to reckon with his own approaching death.
His health had failed. Loss of appetite, sleeplessness, dizziness,
and the chills to which he had always been subject forced him several
times to call in Dr. Langhals. But he did not follow the doctor’s
orders. His will-power had grown flabby in these years of idleness or
petty activity. He slept late in the morning, though every evening
he made an angry resolve to rise early and take the prescribed walk
before breakfast. Only two or three times did he actually carry out the
resolve; and it was the same with everything else. And the constant
effort to spur on his will, with the constant failure to do so,
consumed his self-respect and made him a prey to despair. He never even
tried to give up his cigarettes; he could not do without the pleasant
narcotic effect; he had smoked them from his youth up. He told Dr.
Langhals to his vapid face: “You see, Doctor, it is your duty to forbid
me cigarettes--a very easy and agreeable duty. But I have to obey the
order--that is my share, and you can look on at it. No, we will work
together over my health; but I find the work unevenly divided--too much
of yours falls to me. Don’t laugh; it is no joke. One is so frightfully
alone--well, I smoke. Will you have one?” He offered his case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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