_Priest: I_ don't like Heidsieck. But I'm dieting too. It's my doctor's orders. Every night before retiring. It appears that my system needs it. Maria Lady Rowndell insists on giving me a hundred a year to pay for it. It is her own beautiful way of helping the good cause. Ice, please, waiter. I've just been seeing her to-night. She's staying here for the season. Saves her a lot of trouble. She's very much cut up about the death of Priam Farll, poor thing! So artistic, you know! The late Lord Rowndell had what is supposed to be the finest lot of Farlls in England. _Man_: Did you ever meet Priam Farll, Father Luke? _Priest_: Never. I understand he was most eccentric. I hate eccentricity. I once wrote to him to ask him if he would paint a Holy Family for St. Bede's. _Man_: And what did he reply? _Priest_: He didn't reply. Considering that he wasn't even an R.A., I don't think that it was quite nice of him. However, Maria Lady Rowndell insists that he must be buried in Westminster Abbey. She asked me what I could do. _Woman_: Buried in Westminster Abbey! I'd no idea he was so big as all that! Gracious! _Priest_: I have the greatest confidence in Maria Lady Rowndell's taste, and certainly I bear no grudge. I may be able to arrange something. My uncle the Dean---- _Man_: Pardon me. I always understood that since you left the Church---- _Priest_: Since I joined the Church, you mean. There is but one. _Man_: Church of England, I meant. _Priest_: Ah! _Man_: Since you left the Church of England, there had been a breach between the Dean and yourself. _Priest_: Merely religious. Besides my sister is the Dean's favourite niece. And I am her favourite brother. My sister takes much interest in art. She has just painted a really exquisite tea-cosy for me. Of course the Dean ultimately settles these questions of national funerals, Hence... At this point the invisible orchestra began to play "God save the King." _Woman_: Oh! What a bore! Then nearly all the lights were extinguished. _Waiter_: Please, gentlemen! Gentlemen, please! _Priest_: You quite understand, Mr. Docksey, that I merely gave these family details in order to substantiate my statement that I may be able to arrange something. By the way, if you would care to have a typescript of my sermon to-morrow for the _Record_, you can have one by applying at the vestry. _Waiter_: Please, gentlemen! _Man_: So good of you. As regards the burial in Westminster Abbey, I think that the _Record_ will support the project. I say I _think_. _Priest_: Maria Lady Rowndell will be grateful.