_Enter the two_ KINGS, _hand in hand_. _Bayes._ Oh, these are now the two kings of Brentford; take notice of their style, 'twas never yet upon the stage: but if you like it, I could make a shift perhaps to show you a whole play, writ all just so. _1st King._ Did you observe their whispers, brother king? _2nd King._ I did, and heard, besides, a grave bird sing, That they intend, sweetheart, to play us pranks. _Bayes._ This is now familiar, because they are both persons of the same quality. _Smith._ S'death, this would make a man sick. _1st King._ If that design appears, I'll lug them by the ears, Until I make 'em crack. _2nd King._ And so will I, i'fack. _1st King._ You must begin, _Ma foy_. _2nd King._ Sweet sir, _Pardonnez moy_. _Bayes._ Mark that; I make 'em both speak French, to show their breeding. _Johns._ Oh, 'tis extraordinary fine! _2nd King._ Then spite of fate, we'll thus combined stand, And, like two brothers, walk still hand in hand. [_Exeunt Reges._ _Johns._ This is a majestic scene indeed. _Bayes._ Ay, 'tis a crust, a lasting crust for your rogue-critics, egad: I would fain see the proudest of 'em all but dare to nibble at this; egad, if they do, this shall rub their gums for 'em, I promise you. It was I, you must know, that have written a whole play just in this very same style; it was never acted yet. _Johns._ How so? _Bayes._ Egad, I can hardly tell you for laughing: ha, ha, ha! it is so pleasant a story: ha, ha, ha! _Smith._ What is't? _Bayes._ Egad, the players refuse to act it. Ha, ha, ha! _Smith._ That's impossible! _Bayes._ Egad, they did it, sir; point-blank refus'd it, egad, ha, ha, ha! _Johns._ Fie, that was rude. _Bayes._ Rude! ay, egad, they are the rudest, uncivillest persons, and all that, in the whole world, egad. Egad, there's no living with 'em. I have written, Mr. Johnson, I do verily believe, a whole cartload of things, every whit as good as this; and yet, I vow to gad, these insolent rascals have turn'd 'em all back upon my hands again. _Johns._ Strange fellows indeed! _Smith._ But pray, Mr. Bayes, how came these two kings to know of this whisper? for, as I remember, they were not present at it. _Bayes._ No, but that's the actors' fault, and not mine; for the two kings should (a plague take 'em) have popp'd both their heads in at the door, just as the other went off. _Smith._ That indeed would have done it.