_Bayes._ That is my sense. And then, sir, this contrivance of mine has something of the reason of a play in it too; for as every one makes you five acts to one play, what do I, but make five plays to one plot: by which means the auditors have every day a new thing. _Johns._ Most admirably good, i'faith! and must certainly take, because it is not tedious. _Bayes._ Ay, sir, I know that; there's the main point. And then upon Saturday to make a close of all (for I ever begin upon a Monday), I make you, sir, a sixth play that sums up the whole matter to 'em, and all that, for fear they should have forgot it. _Johns._ That consideration, Mr. Bayes, indeed I think will be very necessary. _Smith._ And when comes in your share, pray, sir? _Bayes._ The third week. _Johns._ I vow you'll get a world of money. _Bayes._ Why, faith, a man must live; and if you don't thus pitch upon some new device, egad, you'll never do't; for this age (take it o' my word) is somewhat hard to please. But there is one pretty odd passage in the last of these plays, which may be executed two several ways, wherein I'd have your opinion, gentlemen. _Johns._ What is't, sir. _Bayes._ Why, sir, I make a male person to be in love with a female. _Smith._ Do you mean that, Mr. Bayes, for a new thing? _Bayes._ Yes, sir, as I have order'd it. You shall hear: he having passionately lov'd her through my five whole plays, finding at last that she consents to his love, just after that his mother had appear'd to him like a ghost, he kills himself: that's one way. The other is, that she coming at last to love him, with as violent a passion as he lov'd her, she kills herself. Now my question is, which of these two persons should suffer upon this occasion? _Johns._ By my troth, it is a very hard case to decide. _Bayes._ The hardest in the world, egad, and has puzzled this pate very much. What say you, Mr. Smith? _Smith._ Why truly, Mr. Bayes, if it might stand with your justice now, I would spare 'em both. _Bayes._ Egad, and I think--ha--why then, I'll make him hinder her from killing herself. Ay, it shall be so. Come, come, bring in the funeral. _Enter a Funeral, with the two_ USURPERS _and Attendants_. Lay it down there; no, no, here, sir. So now speak. _K. Ush._ Set down the funeral pile, and let our grief Receive from its embraces some relief. _K. Phys._ Was't not unjust to ravish hence her breath, And in life's stead, to leave us nought but death? The world discovers now its emptiness, And by her loss demonstrates we have less. _Bayes._ Is not this good language now? is not that elevate? 'tis my _non ultra_, egad; you must know they were both in love with her. _Smith._ With her! with whom? _Bayes._ Why, this is Lardella's funeral. _Smith._ Lardella! ay, who is she? _Bayes._ Why, sir, the sister of Drawcansir; a lady that was drown'd at sea, and had a wave for her winding-sheet.[37]