“These Divanns are, as is very well known, the knightly resott of the
young Henglish nobillaty. It is ear a young Pier, after an arjus day at
the House of Commons, solazes himself with a glas of gin-and-water (the
national beveridge), with cheerful conversation on the ewents of the
day, or with an armless gaym of baggytell in the back-parlor.”
So wrote at least our friend Jools to his newspaper, the Horriflam;
and of this back-parlor and baggytell-bord, of this counter, of this
“Constantinople” Divan, he became almost as reglar a frequenter as the
plaster of Parish Turk who sits smoking a hookey between the two blue
coffee-cups in the winder.
I have oftin, smokin my own shroot in silents in a corner of the Diwann,
listened to Jools and his friends inwaying aginst Hingland, and boastin
of their own immortial country. How they did go on about Wellintun,
and what an arty contamp they ad for him!--how they used to prove that
France was the Light, the Scenter-pint, the Igsample and hadmiration of
the whole world! And though I scarcely take a French paper now-a-days
(I lived in early days as groom in a French famly three years, and
therefore knows the languidg), though, I say, you can't take up Jools's
paper, the Orriflam, without readin that a minister has committed
bribery and perjury, or that a littery man has committed perjury and
murder, or that a Duke has stabbed his wife in fifty places, or some
story equally horrible; yet for all that it's admiral to see how
the French gents will swagger--how they will be the scenters of
civilization--how they will be the Igsamples of Europ, and nothink shall
prevent 'em--knowing they will have it, I say I listen, smokin my pip in
silence. But to our tail.
Reglar every evening there came to the “Constantanople” a young gent
etired in the igth of fashn; and indead presenting by the cleanlyness
of his appearants and linning (which was generally a pink or blew shurt,
with a cricketer or a dansuse pattern) rather a contrast to the dinjy
and whistkcard sosaity of the Diwann. As for wiskars, this young mann
had none beyond a little yallow tought to his chin, which you woodn
notas, only he was always pulling at it. His statue was diminnative,
but his coschume supubb, for he had the tippiest Jane boots, the
ivoryheadest canes, the most gawjus scarlick Jonville ties, and the most
Scotch-plaidest trowseys, of any customer of that establishment. He was
univusaly called Milord.
“Que est ce jeune seigneur? Who is this young hurl who comes knightly
to the 'Constantanople,' who is so proddigl of his gold (for indeed the
young gent would frequinly propoase gininwater to the company), and who
drinks so much gin?” asked Munseer Chacabac of a friend from the “Hotel
de l'Ail.”
“His name is Lord Yardham,” answered that friend. “He never comes here
but at night--and why?”
“Y?” igsclaimed Jools, istonisht.
“Why? because he is engaygd all day--and do you know where he is engaygd
all day?”
“Where?” asked Jools.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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