On the other hand if I, who after all _am_ a New Yorker, were to pronounce the Jackson House perfect, the City of Minesburg beautiful, the Trailing Highway splendid, everyone would naturally suppose the Jackson House a Ritz, Minesburg an upper Fifth Avenue, and the Trailing Highway a duplicate of our own state roads, to say the least! I am more than sorry if I offend anyone—it is the last thing I mean to do—at the same time I think it best to let the story stand as it was written; taking nothing back that seems to me true, but acknowledging very humbly at the outset, that after all mine is only _one_ out of a possible fifty million other American opinions. CONTENTS CHAPTER PAGE I. IT CAN’T BE DONE—BUT THEN, IT IS PERFECTLY SIMPLE 1 II. ALBANY, FIRST STOP 15 III. A BREAKDOWN 18 IV. PENNSYLVANIA, OHIO AND INDIANA 23 V. LUGGAGE AND OTHER LUXURIES 37 VI. DID ANYBODY SAY “CHICKEN”? 41 VII. THE CITY OF AMBITION 46 VIII. A FEW CHICAGOANS 52 IX. TINS 60 X. MUD!! 67 XI. IN ROCHELLE 72 XII. THE WEIGHT OF PUBLIC OPINION 75 XIII. MUDDIER! 79 XIV. ONE OF THE FOGGED IMPRESSIONS 86 XV. A FEW WAYS OF THE WEST 90 XVI. HALFWAY HOUSE 99 XVII. NEXT STOP, NORTH PLATTE! 107 XVIII. THE CITY OF RECKLESSNESS 119 XIX. A GLIMPSE OF THE WEST THAT WAS 135 XX. OUR LITTLE SISTER OF YESTERDAY 150 XXI. IGNORANCE WITH A CAPITAL I 155 XXII. SOME INDIANS AND MR. X 159 XXIII. WITH NOWHERE TO GO BUT OUT 172 XXIV. INTO THE DESERT 175 XXV. THROUGH THE CITY UNPRONOUNCEABLE TO AN EXPOSITION BEAUTIFUL 187 XXVI. THE LAND OF GLADNESS 198 XXVII. THE METTLE OF A HERO 205 XXVIII. SAN FRANCISCO 211 XXIX. THE FAIR 229 XXX. “UNENDING SAMENESS” WAS WHAT THEY SAID 237 XXXI. TO THOSE WHO THINK OF FOLLOWING IN OUR TIRE TRACKS—TO THE MAN WHO DRIVES 241