American fiction -- 19th century; Manners and customs -- Fiction
extent POSED as Sarah Walker's victims. Mr. and Mrs. Walker were known
to be rich, respectable, and indulgent to their only child. They
themselves had been evolved from a previous generation of promiscuously
acquired wealth into the repose of inherited property, but it was
currently accepted that Sarah had "cast back" and reincarnated some
waif on the deck of an emigrant ship at the beginning of the century.
Such was the child separated from me by this portentous history, a
narrow passage, and a closed nursery door. Presently, however, the
door was partly opened again as if to admit the air. The crying had
ceased, but in its place the monotonous Voice of Conscience, for the
moment personated by Sarah Walker's nursemaid, kept alive a drowsy
recollection of Sarah Walker's transgressions.
"You see," said the Voice, "what a dreadful thing it is for a little
girl to go on as you do. I am astonished at you, Sarah Walker. So is
everybody; so is the good ladies next door; so is the kind gentleman
opposite; so is all! Where you expect to go to, 'Evin only knows! How
you expect to be forgiven, saints alone can tell! But so it is always,
and yet you keep it up. And wouldn't you like it different, Sarah
Walker? Wouldn't you like to have everybody love you? Wouldn't you
like them good ladies next door, and that nice gentleman opposite, all
to kinder rise up and say, 'Oh, what a dear good little girl Sarah
Walker is?'" The interpolation of a smacking sound of lips, as if in
unctuous anticipation of Sarah Walker's virtue, here ensued--"Oh, what
a dear, good, sw-e-et, lovely little girl Sarah Walker is!"
There was a dead silence. It may have been fancy, but I thought that
some of the doors in the passage creaked softly as if in listening
expectation. Then the silence was broken by a sigh. Had Sarah Walker
ingloriously succumbed? Rash and impotent conclusion!
"I don't," said Sarah Walker's voice, slowly rising until it broke on
the crest of a mountainous sob, "I--don't--want--'em--to--love me.
I--don't want--'em--to say--what a--dear--good--little girl--Sarah
Walker is!" She caught her breath. "I--want--'em--to say--what a
naughty--bad--dirty--horrid--filthy--little girl Sarah Walker is--so I
do. There!"
The doors slammed all along the passages. The dreadful issue was
joined. I softly crossed the hall and looked into Sarah Walker's room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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