"Yes, your reverence," the housekeeper answered, as shortly; and Searell
walked up the foggy stairs murmuring to himself, "The wind-flowers are
out, and I am free."
Father Damon stood in a little square room hideously papered. He was
small, dark, heavy-featured, peasant-like; and Searell saw at a glance
that his successor was as dull in many ways as Oliver Vorse. All that he
knew had been forced upon him almost violently; he had not gone forth
gathering for himself, he dared not, his mind had been tilled by careful
teachers, kept under restraint, all his side-growths pruned away, in
order that orthodoxy might develop in one large unlovely head. When the
order went forth to kneel, he knelt, and when it was time to lift his
eyes to Heaven, he lifted them. It was a life of prison, and he could
never smell the woodland through the fog of incense.
"He knows nothing," muttered Searell. "He thinks it is daylight where he
stands."
"I come to give you information about the mission," he said aloud, and
then began; but the telling took some time. How troublesome, how paltry,
the details; and Father Damon was so dull. Everything had to be
repeated, explained so carefully; and was it worth the words? The
successor was very earnest, but not enthusiastic, that had been crushed
out of him; and Searell grew impatient at the wooden figure, with its
simple face and child-like questions. He spoke faster, almost angrily,
desiring to get away and smell the earth; and his eyes wandered about
the room, which was so unlovely, not bare, but filled with those things
that make for the nakedness of life. There was wanting something to
galvanise that sluggish Damon into passion, to destroy the machinery,
turn him into a strong animal with dilating nostrils. One little touch
would have done it. A portrait of a pretty woman upon the mantelshelf
would have gone far; but there was nothing except pictures of mythical
saints.
"You are retiring. You seem strong and well," said Damon, when he had
obtained all the information that was required.
Searell was in a hurry to be gone, as the sleeper struggles to awake
from a bad dream; but that voice and its stagnant repose aroused him.
"I am old, I am sixty," he said. "I am beginning again, trying to find
what the Church has not shown me."
"What is that?"
"Light."
Damon stared with the eyes of horror, and put out his peasant-like hands
as if to force away some weight that pressed against him; but he said
nothing.
"I will not depart in the odour of hypocrisy. Listen," said Searell. "I
am far from saying that the Church does not lead towards a kind of
light; but it has not led me. And this do I say, that in the world at
large all religion is a failure; and I am going to find mine in the
solitudes."
"The truth is in the Church. It is your fault if you have missed it,"
said Damon, in a hollow voice, hoping that the other, for the sake of
his soul, was mad.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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