In the kitchen of the little green cottage on North Sixth Street where
Bud had built the home nest with much nearly-Mission furniture and a
piano, Bud was frying his own hotcakes for his ten o'clock breakfast,
and was scowling over the task. He did not mind the hour so much, but he
did mortally hate to cook his own breakfast--or any other meal, for that
matter. In the next room a rocking chair was rocking with a rhythmic
squeak, and a baby was squalling with that sustained volume of sound
which never fails to fill the adult listener with amazement. It affected
Bud unpleasantly, just as the incessant bawling of a band of weaning
calves used to do. He could not bear the thought of young things going
hungry.
“For the love of Mike, Marie! Why don't you feed that kid, or do
something to shut him up?” he exploded suddenly, dribbling pancake
batter over the untidy range.
The squeak, squawk of the rocker ceased abruptly. “'Cause it isn't time
yet to feed him--that's why. What's burning out there? I'll bet you've
got the stove all over dough again--” The chair resumed its squeaking,
the baby continued uninterrupted its wah-h-hah! wah-h-hah, as though it
was a phonograph that had been wound up with that record on, and no one
around to stop it
Bud turned his hotcakes with a vicious flop that spattered more batter
on the stove. He had been a father only a month or so, but that was
long enough to learn many things about babies which he had never known
before. He knew, for instance, that the baby wanted its bottle, and that
Marie was going to make him wait till feeding time by the clock.
“By heck, I wonder what would happen if that darn clock was to stop!” he
exclaimed savagely, when his nerves would bear no more. “You'd let the
kid starve to death before you'd let your own brains tell you what
to do! Husky youngster like that--feeding 'im four ounces every four
days--or some simp rule like that--” He lifted the cakes on to a plate
that held two messy-looking fried eggs whose yolks had broken, set the
plate on the cluttered table and slid petulantly into a chair and began
to eat. The squeaking chair and the crying baby continued to torment
him. Furthermore, the cakes were doughy in the middle.
“For gosh sake, Marie, give that kid his bottle!” Bud exploded again.
“Use the brains God gave yuh--such as they are! By heck, I'll stick
that darn book in the stove. Ain't yuh got any feelings at all? Why, I
wouldn't let a dog go hungry like that! Don't yuh reckon the kid knows
when he's hungry? Why, good Lord! I'll take and feed him myself, if you
don't. I'll burn that book--so help me!”
“Yes, you will--not!” Marie's voice rose shrewishly, riding the high
waves of the baby's incessant outcry against the restrictions upon
appetite imposed by enlightened motherhood. “You do, and see what'll
happen! You'd have him howling with colic, that's what you'd do.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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