It had been proposed to send Cicero on a mission to Egypt. "I should like well, and I have long wished," he said, "to see Alexandria and the rest of that country. They have had enough of me here at present, and they may wish for me when I am away. But to go now, and to go on a commission from Caesar and Pompey! I should blush To face the men and long-robed dames of Troy.[18] What will our optimates say, if we have any optimates left? Polydamas will throw in my teeth that I have been bribed by the opposition--I mean Cato, who is one out of a hundred thousand to me. What will history say of me six hundred years hence? I am more afraid of that than of the chatter of my contemporaries."[19] So Cicero meditated, thinking as usual of himself first and of his duty afterward--the fatalest of all courses then and always. [1] "Si causam quaeris absolutionis, egestas judicum fuit et turpitudo.... Non vidit (Hortensius) satius esse illum in infamiâ relinqui ac sordibus quam infirmo judicio committi."--_To Atticus_, i. 16. [2] "Jam vero, oh Dii Boni! rem perditam! etiam noctes certarum mulierum, atque _adolescentulorum nobilium_ introductiones nonnullis judicibus pro mercedis cumulo fuerunt."--_Ad Atticum_, i. 16. [3] "Nos hic in republicâ infirmâ, miserâ commutabilique versamur. Credo enim te audisse, nostros equites paene a senatu esse disjunctos; qui primum illud valde graviter tulerund, promulgatum ex senatus consulto fuisse, ut de iis, qui ob judicaudum pecuniam accepissent queareretur. Quâ in re decernendâ cum ego casu non affuissem, sensissemque id equestrem ordinem ferre moleste, neque aperte dicere: objurgavi senatum, ut mihi visus sum, summâ cum auctoritate, et in causâ non verecundâ admodum gravis et copiosus fui."--_To Atticus_, i. 17. [4] A nickname under which Cicero often speaks of Pompey. [5] "Solebat enim me pungere, ne Sampsicerami merita in patriam ad annos DC majora viderentur, quam nostra."--_To Atticus_, ii. 17. [6] "Pompeius nobis amicissimus esse constat."--_To Atticus_, i. 13. [7] "Non jucunda miseris, inanis improbis, beatis non grata, bonis non gravis. Itaque frigebat."--_To Atticus_, i. 14. [8] "Metellus non homo, sed litus atque aer, et solitudo mera."--_To Atticus_, i. 18. [9] "Consul est impositus is nobis, quem nemo, praeter nos philosophos, aspicere sine suspiratu potest."--_Ib_. i. 18. [10] "Pompeius togulam illam pictam silentio tuetur suam."--_Ib_. The "picta togula" means the triumphal robe which Pompey was allowed to wear. [11] "Ceteros jam nosti; qui ita sunt stulti, ut amissâ republicâ piscinas suas fore salvas sperare videantur."--_Ib_. [12] _Ib_., abridged. [13] "Sentinam urbis," a worse word than he had blamed in Rullus three years before.--_To Atticus_, i. 19.