At the University, breakfast with "the Head" or any other "Don" was a rather solemn function. The table well and plentifully laid, and the host hospitality itself, but occasionally, nay, frequently, occupied with other thoughts. A departed friend used to tell a story of a breakfast of this description. He was shaken warmly by the hand by his host, who afterwards lapsed into silence. My friend, to "force the running," ventured on the observation-- "It's a remarkably fine morning, sir, is it not?" No reply came. In fact, the great man's thoughts were so preoccupied with Greek roots, and other defunct horrors, that he spoke not a word during breakfast. But when, an hour or so afterwards, the time came for his guest to take leave, the "Head" shook him by the hand warmly once more, and remarked abstractedly-- "D'you know, Mr. Johnson, I don't think that was a particularly original remark of yours?" CHAPTER IV LUNCHEON "'Tis a custom More honoured in the breach than the observance." Why lunch?--Sir Henry Thompson on overdoing it--The children's dinner--City lunches--Ye Olde Cheshyre Cheese--Doctor Johnson--Ye pudding--A great fall in food--A snipe pudding--Skirt, not rump steak--Lancashire hot pot--A Cape "brady." "'More honoured in the breach,' do you say, Mr. Author?" I fancy I hear some reader inquire. "Are these your sentiments? Do you really mean them?" Well, perhaps, they ought to be qualified. Unless a man breakfast very early, and dine very late, he cannot do himself much good by eating a square meal at 1.30 or 2.0 P.M. There can be no question but that whilst thousands of the lieges--despite soup-kitchens, workhouses, and gaols--perish of absolute starvation, as many of their more fortunate brethren perish, in the course of time, from gluttony, from falling down (sometimes literally) and worshipping the Belly-god. Years ago Sir Henry Thompson observed to a friend of the writer's: "Most men who seek my advice are suffering under one of two great evils--eating too much good food, or drinking too much bad liquor; and occasionally they suffer under both evils." "This luncheon," writes Oliver Wendell Holmes, "is a very convenient affair; it does not require any special dress; it is informal; and can be light or heavy as one chooses." The American--the male American at all events--takes far more count of luncheon than of breakfast.