The writer can recall some colossal luncheons partaken of at dear, naughty Simla, in the long ago, when a hill station in India was, if anything, livelier than at the present day, and furnished plenty of food for both mind and body. Our host was the genial proprietor of a weekly journal, to which most of his guests contributed, after their lights; "sport and the drama" falling to the present writer's share. Most of the food at those luncheons had been specially imported from Europe; and although the whitebait tasted more of the hermetical sealing than of the Thames mud, most of the other items were succulent enough. There were turtle soup, and turtle fins; highly seasoned _pâtés_ of sorts; and the native _khansamah_ had added several dishes of his own providing and invention. A young florican (bustard) is by no means a bad bird, well roasted and basted; and though the eternal _vilolif_ (veal olives) were usually sent away untasted, his snipe puddings were excellent. What was called _picheese_ (twenty-five years old) brandy, from the _atelier_ of Messrs. Justerini and Brooks, was served after the coffee; and those luncheon parties seldom broke up until it was time to dress for dinner. In fact, our memories were not often keen as to anything which occurred after the coffee, and many "strange things happened" in consequence; although as they have no particular connection with high-class cookery, they need not be alluded to in this chapter. But, as observed before, I am of opinion that luncheon, except under certain circumstances, is a mistake. CHAPTER VI DINNER "Some hae meat and canna eat, And some wad eat that want it; But we can eat and we hae meat, And sae the Lord be thankit." Origin--Early dinners--The noble Romans--"Vitellius the Glutton"--Origin of haggis--The Saxons--Highland hospitality--The French invasion--Waterloo avenged--The bad fairy "_Ala_"--Comparisons--The English cook or the foreign food torturer?--Plain or flowery--Fresh fish and the flavour wrapped up--George Augustus Sala--Doctor Johnson again. It is somewhat humiliating to reflect that we Britons owe the art of dining to our first conquerors the Romans--a smooth-faced race of voluptuaries whose idea of a _bonne bouche_ took the form of a dormouse stewed in honey and sprinkled with poppy-seed. But it was not until the Normans had fairly established themselves and their cookery, that the sturdy Saxon submitted himself to be educated by the foreign food-spoiler; and at a later period the frequent invasions of France by Britain--when money was "tight" in the little island--were undoubtedly responsible for the commencement of the system of "decorating" food which so largely obtains to-day.