American fiction -- 20th century; Political fiction; Railroad stories; West (U.S.) -- Fiction
She paused. Caleb made no reply. He sat looking in front of him into the
pulsing heart of the fire. He had scarce heard her. His mind was
occupied to bursting by the shock and acute pain of this rupturing of
his last intimate bond with humanity.
“I was left to make my own way,” continued Anice, “and I came here. Out
of one hundred applicants you accepted me. It was not mere coincidence.
I believe it was something more. Something higher. I entered your
service that I might some day pay the debt I owed my father, who was not
strong enough to bear your ‘victory,’ and my mother, whose life the
money you wrested from us might have saved. This is melodramatic, of
course. But I think most things in real life are. I came here. I worked
for you. I won your confidence, your respect, your trust. Perhaps you
think it was a pleasant task I had set myself? I am not trying to
justify it. If it was unworthy, I have paid. You say I’ve ‘eaten your
bread and lived on your money.’ I have. And I have received your
confidence. But have I ever eaten a mouthful or received one penny that
I did not earn three times over? You yourself have said again and again
that I was worth to you ten times what you paid me. You have begged me
to let you raise my salary, to accept presents from you. Have I ever
consented? If there is a money balance between us, the debit is all on
your side. I owe you nothing for what confidences you have lavished on
me. Have I ever asked for them or lured you into bestowing them? Have
not all such confidences come unsought, even repelled, by me? Have I
ever spoken to you with more than ordinary civility? Have I ever so much
as voluntarily shaken your hand? The Judas parallel does not hold good,
Mr. Conover.”
She waited again for a reply. But none came. Conover merely shifted his
heavy gaze from the fire to her pale, drawn face.
“In all these years,” said Anice, “I have waited my chance. I could not
take your life to atone for the two gentle lives you crushed out. Nor
would a life like yours have paid one-hundredth of the debt. So I have
waited until your life-happiness, your whole future, should be bound up
in some one great aspiration. Until you should stake all on one card.
When such a time should come I resolved I would make you taste the
bitter shame and despair you have made others groan under. Oh, it was
long, weary waiting, but I think the end is coming. It _has_ come.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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