France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
I went down the boulevards, stopping in front of the booths, strolling
in spite of the sun, which was like a niggardly and pallid smile of
December still permeated with fog; the air was cold and piercing. On
the sidewalk women were passing, shivering with cold, wrapped in long
cloaks of otter skin, some of them dressed in small drawn bonnets of
fur like Juliette's, and every time these cloaks and bonnets attracted
my attention I observed them with genuine pleasure. I liked to follow
them with my glance until they were lost in the crowd. At the corner of
the Rue Taitbout, I remember, I came upon a tall slender woman, pretty
and resembling Juliette so closely that I brought my hand to my hat
ready to greet her. I was excited--oh, it was not the violent beating
of the heart which halts your breathing, weakens the flow of blood in
your veins and stuns you; it was a light touch, a caress, something
very sweet, which brings a smile upon the lips and a cheerful surprise
to the eyes.
But this woman was not Juliette. I felt somewhat peeved and avenged
myself by thinking her very ugly. Two o'clock already!... Shall I go to
see Lirat? Why? To make him talk about Juliette, to compel him to admit
that he had lied to me, to make him tell me of her traits of character,
sublime and poignant, tell me some touching stories of her devotion,
sacrifice--that tempted me. I thought the matter over, however, knowing
that Lirat would be angry, that he would mock at me, at her, and I had
a horror of his sarcasms; I already heard sinister words, abominable
phrases coming out of a twisted corner of his mouth with a hissing
sound.
At the Champs-Elysées, I called a hackney-coach and proceeded toward
the Bois. Why dissemble? There I hoped to meet Juliette. Yes, certainly
I hoped it, but at the same time I feared it. Not to see her at all, I
felt, would prove a disappointment to me. On the other hand, were she
in the habit of exhibiting herself in this market place of gallantry
regularly like the other ladies, I should again feel hurt, and in the
end I did not know what it was that stirred me more: the hope of seeing
her or the fear of meeting her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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