France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I think we have had enough of this," Juliette imperiously said. "Is
that your wish?... All right. I shall close my door to them. Only when
you insisted on my living with you, you should have told me that you
wanted to bury me alive. I would have known what to do then...."
She rose. I was not even thinking of telling her that, on the contrary,
it was she who had wished that we keep house together. Realizing that
it was useless to argue any further I took her hand:
"Juliette," I entreated her.
"Well, what do you want?"
"Are you angry?"
"I, on the contrary, I am very much contented...."
"Juliette!"
"Come, let go of me ... quit ... you hurt me."
Juliette was sulky all day; when I said something to her she did not
answer or contented herself with articulating monosyllables curtly and
with irritation. I was unhappy and angry at the same time; I would
have liked to embrace her and to beat her, to shower kisses and kicks
on her. At dinner she still kept the air of an offended woman, with
her lips firmly closed and a disdainful look in her eyes. In vain did
I try to appease her by humble conduct and sad repentant looks; her
assumed sullenness remained unchanged, on her brow there was still that
dark furrow which made me uneasy. At night, in bed, she took a book and
turned her back to me. And the back of her perfumed neck to which my
lips loved to cling with rapturous joy, now seemed to me harder than
a stone wall.... Within me deep resentment was stirring, but I forced
myself not to betray it. In the measure that I was filled with rage, my
voice sought sweeter accents, it grew gentler and more beseeching.
"Juliette! my Juliette!... Speak to me, please!... Speak to me! Did I
offend you, was I too harsh with you? I know I was.... Well, I am sorry
and I ask your forgiveness.... But only speak to me."
My impression was that Juliette was not listening to me at all. She was
cutting the pages of the book, and the noise of the friction of the
knife against the paper annoyed me terribly.
"My Juliette.... Please understand me.... It is because I love you that
I said that.... It is because I wish to see you pure, respected, and
because it seems to me that all those are unworthy of you.... If I did
not love you, would that make any difference to me?... And you think
that I don't want you to go out!... Why no.... We shall go out often,
every evening.... Ah, please don't be like that!... I was wrong!...
Scold me, strike me.... But only speak to me, please speak to me!"
She continued turning the pages of the book. The words were throttled
in my throat.
"It is not fair to act the way you do, Juliette. It is not nice at all
to be like that.... Since I admitted my guilt! Ah, what pleasure do you
get out of torturing me like this?... Didn't I say I was sorry? Come
on, Juliette, I admit I was wrong!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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