Courtesans -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Love stories; Paris (France) -- Fiction; Tuberculosis -- Patients -- Fiction
Is there anything sadder in the world than the old age of vice,
especially in woman? She preserves no dignity, she inspires no
interest. The everlasting repentance, not of the evil ways followed,
but of the plans that have miscarried, the money that has been spent in
vain, is as saddening a thing as one can well meet with. I knew an aged
woman who had once been “gay,” whose only link with the past was a
daughter almost as beautiful as she herself had been. This poor
creature to whom her mother had never said, “You are my child,” except
to bid her nourish her old age as she herself had nourished her youth,
was called Louise, and, being obedient to her mother, she abandoned
herself without volition, without passion, without pleasure, as she
would have worked at any other profession that might have been taught
her.
The constant sight of dissipation, precocious dissipation, in addition
to her constant sickly state, had extinguished in her mind all the
knowledge of good and evil that God had perhaps given her, but that no
one had ever thought of developing. I shall always remember her, as she
passed along the boulevards almost every day at the same hour,
accompanied by her mother as assiduously as a real mother might have
accompanied her daughter. I was very young then, and ready to accept
for myself the easy morality of the age. I remember, however, the
contempt and disgust which awoke in me at the sight of this scandalous
chaperoning. Her face, too, was inexpressibly virginal in its
expression of innocence and of melancholy suffering. She was like a
figure of Resignation.
One day the girl’s face was transfigured. In the midst of all the
debauches mapped out by her mother, it seemed to her as if God had left
over for her one happiness. And why indeed should God, who had made her
without strength, have left her without consolation, under the
sorrowful burden of her life? One day, then, she realized that she was
to have a child, and all that remained to her of chastity leaped for
joy. The soul has strange refuges. Louise ran to tell the good news to
her mother. It is a shameful thing to speak of, but we are not telling
tales of pleasant sins; we are telling of true facts, which it would be
better, no doubt, to pass over in silence, if we did not believe that
it is needful from time to time to reveal the martyrdom of those who
are condemned without hearing, scorned without judging; shameful it is,
but this mother answered the daughter that they had already scarce
enough for two, and would certainly not have enough for three; that
such children are useless, and a lying-in is so much time lost.
Next day a midwife, of whom all we will say is that she was a friend of
the mother, visited Louise, who remained in bed for a few days, and
then got up paler and feebler than before.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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